When I eat a vegetarian dish, I always pretend one of the ingredients is meat.
Somehow, it doesn’t make the dish taste any better.
“This asparagus is the worst pork I’ve ever eaten!“
… but I do it anyway.
note: there’s a time and place for vegetables … in the Spring and in the ground. hee hee!
double note: I actually like most vegetables … just not those asparaguseses.
triple note: when I eat rare meat I pretend it’s a vegetable. “Man! I love this bloody onion!”
Today all my night classes cancelled, so I took the evening off. On the drive home at 6pm I noticed traffic, shops open, and people.
It was pretty freaky!
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged asparagus, bloody onions, crappy pork, glutton for punishment, humor, humour, putton for glunishment, vegetarian
I used to like cauliflower as well as I could spell it when I was kid … which wasn’t very well … or much … or not at all.
I was forced to eat it … under the threat of no dessert.
But as an adult I like it very much.
I guess my point is … why do parents make kids eat stuff they don’t like when it only means less for them?
If I had kids, I’d only laydown the “eat it or no dessert” line … if it was something I didn’t like eating … or there wasn’t any dessert … or I was too full … like asparagus.
note: I know the above photo isn’t of cauliflower: it’s a sheep farm.
double note: asparagus is quite full most of the time.
triple note: I didn’t like brocolli as a kid either … until my sister started calling them brocoltrees … and then they tasted pretty good.
quadruple note: don’t worry, I don’t have kids or asparagus.
Today I finally broke through the 500,000 point barrier on the i-phone game “Hungry Shark 3“! I told everyone I know, but I guess they just aren’t fishermen like me.
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged asparagus, brocolli, cauliflower, cheese sauce, humor, humour, Hungry Shark, no dessert, sheep
I’m glad Noah wasn’t in charge of saving all the vegetables
… because he did a pretty good job with the animals.
note: maybe Noah didn’t really do a good job saving pairs of all the different animals.
“deadmen tell no tales.” or “extinct animals have no tails” or something like that.
double note: … so let me get this straight, there were no rainbows but a lot of unicorns before the flood and a lot of rainbows and no unicorns after the flood?
I’d rather have the unicorns; you could eat unicorns.
promissory note: It’s hard to find someone who works for rainbows these days. I guess we don’t live in the age of miracles anymore … and work for money instead … which is just another type of promise really.
triple note: not really connected but very close in a similar way kind of: In Search Of … and Still In Search Of ….
quadruple note: “but the loveliest of all was the asparagus”.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged age of miracle whip, asparagus, extinct animals, extinct vegetables don't get much sympathy or much of anything else, humor, I guess just the old world was flooded, In Search of, Irish Rovers, Leonard Nimoy, money is pure fiction ... but I'm a fictional character, Noah, Noahs's Ark, promissory notes, rainbows, tails, tales, unicorns, Water Skiing with Noah, Where did all the animals from the Americas come from?, why'd Noah have to save the long necked geese? ... they could swim
It must be tough having a food allergy.
Watching other people enjoy something that could potentially be fatal to you.
If I had a food allergy, I’d want to be allergic to asparagus …
because I don’t like that crap anyway.
note: If you know you will die if you eat a certain food, but eat it anyway; is it suicide or just poor nutritional habits?
Posted in comedy, food, funny, health, humor, life, medical, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged asparagus, food allergies, humor, suicide
3 Things I Don’t Eat
asparagus, esophagus, sarcophagus.
Model Ships in Bottles
Big Deal! I want to see a large ship in a massive bottle. Now that would be cool!
They breed like rabbits.
Barbers in Seville
I bet they get tired of that joke.
Self Exploratory Surgery
Don’t go there girlfriend!
Why do I have them? I didn’t eat corn.
They’re just big plastic bags.
The Great White Shark
What’s so great about it? I’ve never seen a regular white shark to compare it with.
Nudists and Adam
I bet they don’t have the “lint in the belly button” problem.
I was doing fine until the training wheels came off.
note: if you missed the first 3 in this series and you are a glutton for punishment:
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged adam, asparagus, barbers, cobwebs, corn, dust bunnies, esophagus, greenhouses, humor, model ships, nudists, sarcophagus, sharks, unicycles