Theo’s Thoughts

 

 This is the story of Theo when he was eight and not so rottenish yet.

Theo thought he needed a hobby; actually, his parents insisted he do something other than skulk around claiming he was bored all the time.

All his friends had hobbies: sports cards, stamps, coins, trainspotting, advanced robotics, …

One of his friends even collected teeth; but his father was a dentist, so that was only mildly disturbing.

Theo decided to collect his thoughts.

He would put them in jars, label them, and keep them in a bookcase that was really doing nothing except holding a bunch of  books.

He thought about all the thoughts he thought in one day …or at least thought about all the thoughts he thought he thought about in one day … and realized he had too many thoughts to collect all of them.
 He only had 35 jars, so he decided “happy thoughts” might be a good start.

Over the next few weeks he collected and organized all his “happy thoughts” about finding money, ice cream, toys, running through sprinklers, …

In no time at all, all his jars were full!
Surprisingly, 3 jars were exclusively filled with “happy thoughts” about ice cream!

It was a very fine collection of thoughts.

He soon realized that since all his “happy thoughts” were bottled up, labelled, and stacked away; he had a very large number of “sad thoughts” floating around in his head.
With no “happy thoughts” to chase the “sad thoughts” away, they just lingered.

This made him sadder.

Theo decided it would be a good idea to free all his “happy thoughts” and start collecting his “sad thoughts” instead.

He refilled his jars with “sad thoughts” about broken bones, no dessert, vaccination needles, dropped ice cream cones, dentist visits …

 

It took him a whole month to fill up all 35 jars. 

He concluded that “sad thoughts” were more difficult to trap  than “happy thoughts” because they didn’t like jars.

With no more “sad thoughts” in his head, Theo thought he’d be really happy: but he wasn’t.

Without any “sad thoughts” to balance his “happy thoughts“, his “happy thoughts” weren’t as strong or happy anymore …  kind of like appreciating being healthy a lot more after being sick … or how a cold Winter makes Spring’s arrival so much better. He needed both sadly, or happily.

Theo decided to release his “sad thoughts” and resolved  never to collect his thoughts ever again.

He used the 35 jars to catch colds instead.

 

note: The jar of asparaguses on the floor is not a “sad thought“: Theo just dropped it accidentally on purpose while walking by the bookcase on the way to the dinner table. He had a “happy thought” right after he did this for some reason.

 

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Scars

 

I’ve been pretty lucky.
I’ve made it to 43 without acquiring too many scars: physical ones at least.
None on my body! How lucky is that!

They’ve all accumulated on my face.
I have a nicely concealed one tucked up in my eyelid at the corner of my eye. A memento from playing ball hockey at 8 years old. My father stitched me up: a pretty good piece of work from the old man. Yes, he was a doctor!

Another was from surgery to correct a split lip that never healed.
Pretty inconspicuous as well.

The third is my stupidity scar.
It’s a tiny scar on the bridge of my nose.
My friend bet me that I couldn’t jump as high as the potted plant hanging from a light standard in a parking lot.
I not only managed to jump as high as it, but knocked it off and it fell on my nose. We are talking about a big beer barrel type plant holder folks.
I’m lucky it didn’t take my nose clean off!!

My friend has the best (or worst) stupidity scar.
Inebriated, he fell down a very steep slope when he was 18. He was luckily found by a woman the next morning; passed out sitting on a tree stump with a bone sticking out of his shoulder.
His stitchmarks resemble the laces on a football.
It looks like something ripped his arm off and then it was reattached!!

Now he tells people that he was bitten by a shark.
But I know the truth.

The Moment of Truth

Scenario:You are in the passenger seat of a car, and the driver falls asleep.

What will you do?

Be calm, grab the steering wheel and wake up the driver.
Be calm and pull the emergency brake.

If you’ve never been unfortunate enough to be in this situation, you don’t really know what you would do.

I was in this situation once.

I pressed my hands into the dashboard and screamed.

I won’t be piloting any space shuttles in the near future.