Category Archives: wordplay

Trea??? Sure!!!

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I’ve never wanted a lot of stuff.

More importantly, funnily enough, but a little seriously.

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note: now I can throw out the envelope I originally wrote this on.

double note: I trash talk with the garbage men sometimes.

triple note: Google should come out with Google Treasure Maps.

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what I’m listening to now #59: Bic Runga  “Precious Things“.

you might not know that one, but you’ve probably heard this one.

Serumdipity

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Is there an opposite to “Truth Serum“?

That would be something!

Dare Serum”!

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note: anything that isn’t Truth Serum is False Serum
… if you want to know the truth.

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what I’m listening to now #58: Barenaked LadiesPinch Me“.

Testing 1, 2, … That’s It.

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I’m not a big fan of free samples.

If I’m going to sample something,
I want it to be the really expensive stuff!

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note: a trial size suit would be fine … if I’m arrested.

double note: I choose random stuff very carefully.

triple note: being a picky eater must involve actually picking fruits and vegetables off of whatever they grow on before showing up in supermarkets.
I could be wrong: I usually am.

quadruple note: scented toilet paper makes my nose run … it’s a vicious circle.

quintuple note:3 square meals” probably means something different to toilet paper people.

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what I’m listening to now # 57: Walk off the EarthSomebody That I Used To Know“.

Wishing Wells, Well Wishings, and Well … Wishing

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A tunnel is just a really crappy hole.

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note: well diggers don’t screw up and make tunnels … that’s why they are called well diggers … because they are that good.

double note: I’m sure a tunnel digger digs well … metaphorically speaking.

triple note:

if you dig a deep enough hole, eventually it will turn into a tunnel … and there will be light at the end of it.
… but only if you go straight*.

*triple note note: … and it’s daytime.

quadruple note: to be fair … a hole is just a really crappy tunnel too.

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what I’m listening to now #56: Tom WaitsWay Down In The Hole

Enyutee

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What’s my favorite nut?

… just give me a minute.

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note: it’s always mixed or assorted nuts! … never intermingled nuts, blended nuts, interspersed nuts, combined nuts, jumbled nuts, united nuts, joined nuts, amalgamated nuts, mingled nuts, fused nuts, fraternizing nuts, associated nuts, nuts hanging out, socializing nuts, consorting nuts, hobnobbing nuts, …

double note: all nuts are nuts … they can’t help it.

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what I’m listening to now #55: my conscience telling me I did good at not making any testicle references in this post.

Opposably Thumbs

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Not having opposable thumbs is hard for me to grasp.

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note: if air were solid, people might do more grasping than gasping.

double note: having the opposhits sounds like constipation.

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what I’m listening to now #54: my heartbeat sporadically … but other stuff too!

Wickedy Whacks

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All lit candles smell the same to me,

they have a singed eyebrows sort of odor.

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note: candles are wicked.

double note: most people can’t hold a candle to me … unless it’s unlit … then it’s okay.

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what I’m listening to now #53: water running without legs.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream!

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It’s  always à la mode

… never Jesus mode, Buddha mode, Jehovah mode, Yahweh mode, ...

I guess Islam just scooped the others on this one.

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note: remaining non-convertible helps me … especially when it’s raining.

double note: I’m ligious … I ain’t doing that stuff twice!

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what I’m listening to now #51: sausages frying.

something I’d forgotten: http://youtu.be/7rK3s_BP9kE

Some Bloom To Reathe

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I prefer blossoming to blooming

… unless it involves quasi-swearing.

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note: Mother Nature probably drives a bloomstick.

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what I’m listening to now #50: Nada Surf‘s “When I Was Young“.

Button

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Did I press the button?
I think I pressed the button … I think.
If I didn’t press the button, that would be bad.
I wouldn’t like that. It would put me behind schedule.
The button was probably pressed, but I better make sure.
Please, please, please let me have pressed the button!!!

I sure hope I pressed the button.

Yes! I pressed the button.

I’m sure glad I have a rice cooker instead of cooking rice in a regular pot that I have to watch.

It’s a lot less stressful.

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note: I like most buttons, but not red buttons … except for Red Buttons.

double note: when I iron I never press buttons … I navigate around them.

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what I’m listening to now # 49: definitely not reason.