Category Archives: sports

Double Tandem Pairs


Doubles tennis, 2-man bobsled, pairs figure skating, …

Why isn’t there a world renowned international tandem bicycle competition?

I’d watch the “Twoer de France”.


note: sponsors could get twice as much advertising too! … for stuff that I don’t buy anyway.

double note:imitation is the highest form of flattery” … but I think one of them might be mocking the other … because that would be the only way I’d be wearing the same outfit as someone else.
Flattery/Mockery: just look like the same side of the coin.

triple note:It’s amazing that we wear the same outfits as each other everyday!
                       “Shut up! It’s a uniform!


Today #204

I’ll wait for the autopsy on today before I know what happened for sure.

Room For Change


The changeroom was somehow different than the last time I went into it.


note: change for changesake is vending machinations.

double note: change for the better sounds like an overtipping recipient.

triple note: I think personal change, for the better, is just losing crap you don’t really need and acquiring crap you do: like a piece of cheese being molded into something better … like penicillin.

quadruple note: I’ve been preoccupied following the Vancouver Canucks make it to the Stanley Cup Final: hopefully I’ll be busy until they win The Cup. This blog may suffer for a few more weeks.
(On Planetross there is only one cup … but there are a lot of bowls, plates, and silverware.)


Today #202

Today was as easy as spelling “easy” “EZ“.

Alienational Team Sports

I think there is an illegal alien on the soccer pitch.


note: it’s a Worlds Cup Team.

double note: “our National Anthem would kill every person on this planet, so we’ll just use the theme song to “The Jeffersons” if you don’t mind.

triple note: get it? … there are 12 on the field! … oh, nevermind.  It was funnier in my mind … earlier … for a moment.


Today #80

Today was easier than KFC chicken … I mean greasier!

I’ll Meet You At Tennish


Somone’s in violation of their tennis court order.


note: being loved in tennis isn’t a good thing.

double note: tennis is a faulty game.

triple note: tennis players must eat a lot of Pringles.

quadruple note: I lose interest in people drawing a line to make a point on principle all the time.

quintuple note: some people have to irrationalize everything!


If I Were In A “Die Hard 3” Reality

People who didn’t dump their fries into the top of the Big Mac container would be classified as bad guys.



Is this what they call those youth soccer players who come out on the field with the professional players at the beginning of matches?

I think someone should think of a better name for those kids.


note: this was on my tray at McDonald’s today.

double note: yes I read the important information on those pieces of paper … just not anything nutritional … if there is anything like that.


notes to myself #164

You will never remember the date of one of your sisters’  birthday.

Seven To Ten With Good Behaviour


As it slowly crept out of my underwear, slid down my pant leg, and rolled onto the floor …

I knew the bowling alley people would soon discover the mysterious bowling ball thief.


note: why steal bowling balls? … to use as displays for bowler hats of course.

double note: if there is anything that big in the back of my pants, it means I’m very surprised to see you.  hee hee!

triple note: I hope everyone had a good Easter and got tons of Faberge eggs … or Cadbury eggs … or something egg like … or something or other.


notes to myself #161

Enjoying biting the ears off of chocolate rabbits does not make you a sadist.

Guilty People


 Guilty people who get off being convicted of stuff should be charged with “beating the system to death”.


note: something is really wrong if you are the “even one out“.

double note: beating the odds once in a while evens things out. Beating the evens is just odd … or something like that.

triple note:I’m an evenball.

quadruple note:It’s exactly where I left it. That’s even!

quintuple note: He was penalty kicked to within an inch of his life. (or a centimetre if you’re metric)

sextuple note: metric sounds more brutal sometimes.

septuple note:  soccer sounds more brutal than it is.

octuple note: My oldest brother sent me cool Winter Olympic toques … 2010 ones no less!  (toques are ski hats to you non-Canadians)

nuntuple note: can I have head pajamas? … cause I’m thinking about wearing this to bed.


notes to myself #124

You have no shame.

Slim Pickens


Were you ever picked last when playing sports?

Me neither.

I’m sure it’s character building and loads of fun though.


note: Team Captains were usually the 2 best players and nobody wanted them on the same team … or everyone did.
Nobody or Everybody seems to agree on stuff … usually Nobody.

double note: not being picked at all really picks me … or something like that.

triple note: I picked and ate the fruit from this tree, but it tasted awful and made me sick. I’ll be more knowledgeable next time.

quadruple note: Did the Garden of Eden have a tree of stupidity too?  … or one with pineapples? … cause I like those ones.

quintuple note:shoot, a fella could have a pretty good time in Dallas with all this stuff.
Slim Pickens as Major T. J. “King” Kong in Dr. Strangelove.

sextuple note: it’s another 2 entry night.


notes to myself #91

The nextdoor neighbours don’t care if you eat the grapes growing on the side of their house, but it’s more fun to do stealthily and under the cover of darkness anyway.

Snow Angles

Ski resorts need an angle … or an angel, if they’re not good at catching typos.

I found myself perusing the ski brochures at the local 7-11 because I couldn’t get to the library.

The ski resorts in the brochures above seem to be sending the message that they are for serious skiers and snowboarders.


These places are going for the cutesy character/mascot family crowd.
Who wouldn’t want to ski at a place that has cartoon bears, snowpeople, or rabbits on their pamphlets?
If Miffy skis there, it must be awesome!

I’m not sure why this place chose eggs; maybe their brochure artist was pretty limited in the drawing department.

I guess eggs can go in the men’s and ladies’  hotspring baths … because they will never be born and find out if they are male or female.

This place is into the subliminal advertising angle. I wrote about this last year.

All these ski resorts must have done some research and hired expensive advertising companies to come up with something mildly different … or not so beaten to death.

but … what were these people thinking?


Maybe it’s just me, but that is kind of freaky.


note: I don’t want to be a snow bunny … I want to be a snow leopard!

double note: posting may get a bit more sporadic from here on in … until over out there somewhere in January.
… I’ll keep you posted … or maybe not posted so much.


notes to myself # 82

You don’t really suffer from acne during the teen years … but when you do get the odd pimple it always seems to be on the tip of your nose.