Testing 1, 2, … That’s It.

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I’m not a big fan of free samples.

If I’m going to sample something,
I want it to be the really expensive stuff!

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note: a trial size suit would be fine … if I’m arrested.

double note: I choose random stuff very carefully.

triple note: being a picky eater must involve actually picking fruits and vegetables off of whatever they grow on before showing up in supermarkets.
I could be wrong: I usually am.

quadruple note: scented toilet paper makes my nose run … it’s a vicious circle.

quintuple note: “3 square meals” probably means something different to toilet paper people.

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what I’m listening to now # 57: Walk off the Earth “Somebody That I Used To Know“.

A Few Words Friday

 

Thinking Hardly

or

Hardly Thinking

 

 

note: pretty cool lightbulb eh!

double note: the company 100% sells some pretty cool stuff: http://www.100per.com/index.html

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Today #264

Today was slippery … socks just weren’t good enough.

Room For Change

 

The changeroom was somehow different than the last time I went into it.

 

note: change for changesake is vending machinations.

double note: change for the better sounds like an overtipping recipient.

triple note: I think personal change, for the better, is just losing crap you don’t really need and acquiring crap you do: like a piece of cheese being molded into something better … like penicillin.

quadruple note: I’ve been preoccupied following the Vancouver Canucks make it to the Stanley Cup Final: hopefully I’ll be busy until they win The Cup. This blog may suffer for a few more weeks.
(On Planetross there is only one cup … but there are a lot of bowls, plates, and silverware.)

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Today #202

Today was as easy as spelling “easy” “EZ“.

Citizen Kane

 

It’s just a hunch, but …

Citizen Kane would probably be a more famous movie if it was called “Citizen Titty Lip Service”.

 

note: I’m sure this is a hamster character’s name in one of Tooty Nolan‘s books. … or it should be!

double note: I should read shopping centre directories more often.

triple note: I was watched outside of “Citizen” and remained mute around “Lip Service“, but I couldn’t resist “Titty & Co.“.

quadruple note: “What’s in fashion this season?”
                                        “Two”

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Today #118

Today rolled off the tongue like some German word I can’t pronounce.

Numb … ers

I guess this isn’t a “cardinal” sin … it’s an “ordinal” one.

 

 1st note: I don’t even know what those “primary, secondary, and tertiary ones” are called! … I’m sure I wouldn’t do well during secondary Jeopardy on that show … which I’ve forgotten the name of at the moment.

2nd note: long division with roman numerals is all latin to me.

3rd note: mi

4th note: fa

5th note: so

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Today #83

Today I walked into the “women’s” side of the onsen/hot bath by mistake. It was early, so I was the first in. I didn’t know my error until a half hour later, when I walked back inside after lounging in the outdoor pools and wondered why the old guy in the indoor bath had tits.
I thought she was in the wrong place until I checked the door, … then I quickly slapped on my underwear, crept next door with all my possessions bundled in my arms, and  suffered the stares of old men wondering why I was coming into the change room soaking wet in my underwear.

(I told the staff when I left, and they just laughed)

Warning Signs … And Labels

I think it’s great that other companies have finally started following the lead of the tobacco industry and have begun to put health warnings on their products.
… not your health warnings … more environmental health warnings.

“Sniff … and use less of our product” is what I see when I look at these tissues.

I’m sure “Don’t Wipe” toilet paper, “Use a Sponge” paper towels, and “Forks are Better” disposable chopsticks will be released soon.

 

note: no one advertises “rainforest pencils” for some reason.

double note: looking at the paper on my cigarettes gives me the funny feeling that I’ve smoked a few trees in my lifetime.

triple note: “Uncaring Lazy Bastard” plastic bags could be a hit!

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Today #78

It’s recycling day today! I wish there were more of them … because I love them so much and would make sure to have a lot of stuff for them everytime!

Oh! No!

 

I realize that the shirts I buy are mass produced and thousands of people are probably walking around wearing the exact same shirt as me at any given moment

but …

I don’t have to like it.

 

note: I’ve seen two of my shirts hanging up outside this place now! … at least they aren’t on scarecrows.

double note: I should switch my XL for this Medium: the person would probably think they had shrunk.

*(they= the person … not the shirt)

triple note: if I could only wear things I made myself, I’d be walking around naked.

oh! I can make clothes … I just want to walk around naked.  hee hee!

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notes to myself #143

You can make farting noises using your hand and the middle of your chest. The hand/armpit people are rookies.

The Last Kid

 

 

note: no notes accepted … only coins.

double note: coin slots, sofas, and drains … are like ATMs for children.

triple note: why isn’t it called “plastic bottled water“?

quadruple note: I put pennies in coin return slots … just to mess with kids’ heads.

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notes to myself #123

You may think that people who leave money in coin return slots are careless, but hey!  people’s fingers get really big and those slots are pretty small … and low to the ground!

Properly Attired

 

I had to buy 2 new snow tires last weekend.

They don’t even gift wrap them at the gas station anymore.

 

note: I didn’t play with the guitar keychain in the photo … very much.

double note: why do vehicles always seem to run so much better when you get something new put on them?
I swear my van goes faster when I change the air freshener.

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notes to myself #89

When you get a flat tire have it fixed right away: 8 months of sitting outside flat kind of ruins it forever for some reason.

Not Heavies Or Darks … But Lights!

 

I haven’t changed a single light bulb in my house for 3 years:

I guess I’ve been lucky.

 

 My battery bill for the lantern is pretty high though.

 

note: you know how some people bring burnt out lights, the last vacuum bag, assorted screws and hinges, and pieces of paper with strange measurements scribbled on them to the hardware store/DIY center just to make sure they get exactly what they need.

… I do that when refrigerator shopping.

double note: I just made that first note up … I only take the icecube trays with me.

triple note: “the lights are on, but nobody’s home” … no I’m home!

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notes to myself #83

Save the vacuum bag package with the model number on it: it will save you a messy job.