Category Archives: Olympics

Guilty People

 

 Guilty people who get off being convicted of stuff should be charged with “beating the system to death”.

 

note: something is really wrong if you are the “even one out“.

double note: beating the odds once in a while evens things out. Beating the evens is just odd … or something like that.

triple note:I’m an evenball.

quadruple note:It’s exactly where I left it. That’s even!

quintuple note: He was penalty kicked to within an inch of his life. (or a centimetre if you’re metric)

sextuple note: metric sounds more brutal sometimes.

septuple note:  soccer sounds more brutal than it is.

octuple note: My oldest brother sent me cool Winter Olympic toques … 2010 ones no less!  (toques are ski hats to you non-Canadians)

nuntuple note: can I have head pajamas? … cause I’m thinking about wearing this to bed.

.

notes to myself #124

You have no shame.

Speed Walking

 volcanic activity somewhere in Hokkaido

Being the fastest speedwalker in the world is a big accomplishment.

It’s probably comparable to conquering the highest hill in the world!

 

note: I’m going to try out for the National “Speed Limping” team.

double note: Is the “standing broad jump” still around?
                           I was pretty good at that in my prime …ary school days.

triple note: the highest hill in the world is Cavanal Hill in Poteau, Oklahoma U.S.A. (according to wikipedia) registering in at 1,999 feet. I don’t think they really measured all the hills in the world though.

quadruple note: I’d mention the reigning world champion speedwalker, but really who cares that much. So … here is Bill Nye the Science Guy as “Speed Walker

 

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Olympic Spirits

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There should be Paranormal Olympics for ghosts.

They shouldn’t be left out of the festivities just because they are dead and everything.

 

note: Para-Paranormal-Olympics would be interesting too!

double note: I wish Michael Jackson would die, so he could perform at the opening ceremony.

triple note: the above note might sound mean, but I meant it in the nicest way possible.

 

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Kinder-Olympics!

The once a year Kinder-Olympics happened last weekend. It had been a long wait for these athletes: some  had counted down from “5 or 6 sleeps to go” in their excitement. 

The Stadium filled up with spectators: parents, grandparents, siblings, and … that’s about it. Once positions were established, shoes removed, and picnic lunches spread out; it was time for the opening ceremony.

 

There were some concerns about the weather, but the performers were unfazed, didn’t care, or were too involved in getting this “left and right” mumbo jumbo figured out.

Choreographed to perfection, with several child wranglers in place and highly visible yellow chalk lines to follow, the opening ceremony went off flawlessly.

Let the games commence” rang out all around the grounds.

Several countries’ flags were in attendance. Even “Anpanmanlandia” was not left out; although the field of athletes were pretty much just little Japanese kids.

Anpanman himself showed up to applaud the athletes’ athleticism and to scare the smaller children.

There were running races.

And magical hats that changed colors in the middle of races.

Games involving pinwheels and finding your parents at the finish line. There were a few mix ups.

Team Weightlifting competitions.

 

Performers waiting for the “After the Opening Ceremony but Before the Closing Ceremony” ceremony.

Off-road tricycle racing.

A few near misses, but no casualties this year.

Throwing bean bags into a stationary basket competition.

And into a moving target.

Races involving monkey and kangaroo hats.

Relay races.

Exhibition Sport: Tricycle vs Unicycle Grudge Match. (the tricycle won)

Mugging for the camera competitor.  (eventual champion)

Hide and Seek competitor.  (eventual 4th place finisher)

Happy competitors: possibly an illegal band-aid on one kid’s knee. It will be brought up before the committee I’m sure.

Medals were awarded and accompanied by vigorous handshaking.

The “Pooh Dancers” were even included in the Closing Ceremony. Yeah! Pooh Dancers!!

And then the Kinder-Olympics closed for another year.

Don’t Weep“. They will be back again next year.

 

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The All-ympics

 

Are the Olympics the biggest private club in the world, or what?

It’s suppose to be a world sporting event, but most of the world’s popular sports are excluded. By popular I mean, watched on TV or have a fanbase of more than 100 people outside of the participants.

I guess the speedwalkers and pole vaulters lobby strongly against letting in popular sports.

The Olympics should open the floodgates and let all sports compete. Let’s have a truly global sporting spectacle: X-games, darts, off-road racing, logger sports, highland games, Inuit sports, marbles, sports card scrambles, buck-buck…. everything!

Who cares how many medals are given out; or that one country wins every medal in one event because they are the only country who play that sport.

It would have to be better than it is now.

Two words: synchronized diving.

note: I’m just mad because there is no “individual” synchronized swimming event.