Category Archives: Australia


non-returnable boomerang fridge magnet!


Whoever invented the boomerang must have had a seriously lazy dog.


note: Boomerangs are like yoyos: they both don’t come back to me.

double note: Is a “boomering” just a frisbee that comes back to you when you throw it up into the air on a windy day?

triple note: That guy really “boomerung” that emu’s neck!

quadruple note: When I think of a boomerang, I always think of that idiot in “The Road Warrior/ Mad Max 2” movie.

quintuple note: I thought boomerangs were unique to Australia … I was wrong


dirty old snowmen!

It was really windy today.

I think someone in Australia kicked sand in my face!


note: the flags were in a big flap and the wind chimes were blown into a different “chime zone”!

double note: I wanted to take a picture of the wind, but you can’t see wind; it’s invisible or something like that!  So … here are a few dirty old snowmen instead.

 triple note:  I thought I saw the answer blowing in the wind, but it was just a plastic bag: maybe I’m not asking the right question!



I guess to albinos everyone else is just a “pigment of their imagination”.

note: Is “furmentation” when you are born with fur?   Or does it have something to do with grapes and stuff?

double note: Why are all snowmen albino?

triple note: planetross is off for a 3 day weekend and won’t be posting. Bet you thought I’d gone nuts with 5 posts all together! Have a good weekend. See you next week.

quadruple note: WordPress went weird with the post “Googling“. It’s out of order from the others for some reason. Check it out! I like that one.

Road Music


Travelling from Melbourne to Perth straight involves an awful lot of driving.

When I did this 12 years ago, 3 out of the 4 people in the van took turns behind the wheel: the 4th was not to be trusted.

The only benefit as driver was that you were in control of the music.

I was looking forward to my first driving shift, as the van’s owner and his friend had played Deep Purple for 12 hours non-stop.

Once securely in the driver’s seat I examined the tape selection:

12 Deep Purple cassettes!

I should have saw that coming.

note: no one ever fell asleep driving.


Why do people think I’m Australian when I say, “No worries, matey”?

I’m not Australian.

I’m a frickin’ Pirate!


note: an “eye patch” isn’t a field where you grow eyes.


Filthy Phil


I travelled straight from Melbourne to Perth with 2 carnival workers returning to work, and Filthy Phil a backpacker on his way home to Kalgoorlie in Western Australia.

Filthy Phil was young, grubby, and a bit suspect; even the carnies could sense it.

Approaching Western Australia there was an agricultural quarantine checkpoint.

The officer asked us if we had any fruits or vegetables; we said no.

The officer eyed Filthy Phil suspiciously and asked again.

After a moments hesitation, Filthy Phil reached into his backpack and pulled out a small dirty potato.

Driving away we asked, “Why’d you have a potato in your backpack?

Just in case I got hungry” he replied.


note: above photo is not Filthy Phil.

Ron Mueck: Amazing Sculptures

I’m not much of a Museum person, but I visit the odd one once in a blue moon.

I like art; it’s just not on the top of my to do list.


by chance, I saw some of Ron Mueck‘s work in Kanazawa, Japan.

He Rocks!!

Unbelievable stuff. Life like? I wouldn’t have been surprised if the pieces got up and started walking around. I’m not easily impressed, but this stuff was freaky real: faces, bodies, even the soles of the feet were amazing.

If you have a chance, take a look at his stuff in the flesh. Photos just don’t do it justice.

This is a link to more info and great photos of Ron Mueck’s work.

Dead Man Sandals


I’m amazed at how many single shoes I see lying on the sides of the road.

Usually they are running shoes. I haven’t seen any pumps, gumboots or sandals.

My first thought is usually that someone must have been hit by a car, but I don’t think there are that many people getting hit by cars. And the police would probably pick up any shoes as evidence anyway.

Are people throwing shoes out of their car windows?

In Australia myself and a few others were in a National Park following a river that cut through a canyon. We walked beside the river where we could and swam certain sections where we couldn’t walk.

We found a sandal on a rock, and about 30 minutes later we found its partner. My friend picked up both and wore them for the rest of his Australia trip. He probably still has them. They were nice sandals.

We called them his Dead Man Sandals.

Supposedly somewhere in Africa an Aid Agency was distributing clothing and shoes. The local people wore the clothes, but they didn’t wear the shoes.

They thought the shoes must have been from dead people, as no one would just give away such nice shoes. 

The Depressed Kangaroo


Before Johnny 23 hit the dead pig, I had my own incident.

see Johnny 23 Can’t Drive 

3 of us left Alice Springs, turned right at 3 Ways, and were making good time on our way to Cairns.
About 9pm we stopped at a service area, filled our tank, and had a hot meal in the restaurant populated by long haul truckers.
On the way out the door everyone stopped eating and stared at us.
“Mind the roos”, advised the waitress.

We smiled, nodded, and left.
It felt like a scene out of American Werewolf in London.

I got behind the wheel. We were all laughing because we had yet to see a kangaroo on the drive from Alice Springs.

10 minutes down the road, the area was crawling with kangaroos: hundreds of them!
I slowed down for a few kilometres, and then gradually accelerated until we were barreling along at a steady 90 km/h.
Everything was fine until I noticed something in my peripheral vision flying towards the car from 15 meters away.

The kangaroo landed directly in front of the station wagon.

I ran over it convincingly.

I stopped the car, banned myself to the backseat, and waited for the others to come back from inspecting my handy work.

To this day, I still believe the kangaroo committed suicide.