Monthly Archives: December 2011



Some times “sex” isn’t needed to sell stuff. 
note: I’d rather be “on the virg” than “on the cusp” figuratively speaking. 
… unless it’s written down as “being on the verge” … then it just sounds like being on a grassy patch of land beside a road.
double note: I thought virgin meant a martini … maybe that’s ver-gin.
Today #307
Today I wanted to put on a post about dog owners being anal … or pretty close to it, when cleaning up after their dogs, but the photo was crap.

Stuff You Don’t Pay For … Kind Of


Condiments are complimentary,

but some compliments are condemnentary.


note: I don’t like receiving backhanded compliments … I’m all about giving.

double note: adding “actually” to most remarks make them backhanded. “Your breath smells actually okay today.
Try it! It’s fun! … ouch! hey! what did I do!

triple note:  the 3 Kings followed the North star and found the manager of Gyoza and offered up soy sauce, vinegar, and chili-spiced oil as gifts to this culinary messiah.
Another 3 Kings came by later with toothpicks, black pepper, and chili pepper flakey stuff … but they were too late.


Today #306

Today I met a 13 year old kid I know waiting at a ramen restaurant. I gave him and his dad a free ticket for 6 gyoza. I have that kind of firepower in my wallet.

Blind Eyesores


My mother always said,If you get used to crap sitting in the same place for 6 months, you might as well bronze it.

Bronzing must be expensive … or everyone would be doing it!


note: it’s amazing how many things my mother said … and I didn’t listen to … but am slowly coming around to her way of thinking now.
I’m just glad she wasn’t full of crap … like I may have thought once when I was more full of crap.

double note: the chestnut doesn’t fall far from the tree … but neither does most stuff … that is falling from trees.


Today #305

Today I finally mailed all my Christmas cards. Just to close friends and family that are far away … and not close at all!
What gives?

No News Means Old News


planetross:Pearl Harbor was attacked 70 years ago yesterday.

Mr. Pettit:John Lennon died 31 years ago today.

Remembering anniversaries is more important than the present.

Kids seem to forget this a lot of the time … and at Christmas and birthdays …


note: I’m not interested in the latest news … late news will do.

double note: surfers are probably into the current news.

triple note: seriously, we did have this conversation today.


Today #304

I knew today would be over eventually … or uneventually.



Apologies for not being around much:

I seem to have my intermittens on at the moment.


note: I’m not lost in the fog … it’s just following me around.

double note: maybe it’s not fog, but odorless smoke signals.


Today #303

Today I realized that during the average day at work I speak mostly in present tense, followed closely by present continuous and simple past.
Sometimes I can say just nouns for hours!

Some Things


Some things that seemed very important at one time

have become so very exportant now.


note: “I said I was an ‘export star’ … not an ‘ex-sports star’.”

double note:himmigration” usually involves free beer.


Today #302

Today I awoke to a total mug stand collapse in my kitchen: all mugs survived … except my “coffee mugging” mug. It was my favourite. (sadface)




Converting robots to Christianity is probably easier with a Christian converter.

I haven’t seen them on sale in the stores yet though.


note: I don’t know what my appliances believe, but my phone speaks in tongues … when there is bad reception.

double note:outlet stores” don’t usually sell outlets. I’ve seen them in there though, but the staff usually give me weird looks when I want to buy one.

triple note: apologies, I usually write a poem when the photo has snowmen in it.
“Snowmen usually make me rhyme,
but not this time.”

oh! nevermind.


Today #301

Today was so-so … suck your toe all the way to Mexico!
(I’m sorry, I don’t know where that childhood rhyme nugget came from)

Giraffe Machinations


 Sure nothing runs like a Deere,

but nothing hides like a Giraffe

… in a heavy machinery area.


note: I can’t run and hide … I’m not a multitasker!

double note: hiding an elephant involves shades of gray.

triple note: I saw an elephant hide once … it’s pretty sad that some people still do that.

quadruple note: a Giraffe Caterpillar must become a pretty massive Giraffe Butterfly.

quintuple note: people probably don’t paint giraffes on those huge industrial cranes because a “giraffe crane” sounds dumb.


Today #300

Last night I ate all the green vegetables in my fridge. Today I’m thinking of eating all the blue ones … I’m not very hungry really.