Girlfriend Rental Agency


I wish there was a “girlfriend rental” service.

Maybe for $20 an hour a woman could come to my house and tell me what underwear should be thrown out;  imply that I should get back to the gym; check my face for rogue eyebrow, nose, and ear hairs; point out possible ways to improve myself; show me what areas of my place need to be cleaned better; and have sex with me.

I guess a hooker could do all that stuff for me, but that is illegal … and probably more than $20 an hour.


note: I wish women were either with me or against me … what a perfect world that would be.

double note: it’s just a topic and playing with meanings: I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be talking about how toilet paper and toast are the same. You have 24 hours to think about that one.


Today #309

Today I thought stuffing the turkey with a cornish game hen would be a good idea. Christmas is all about a savoury birth isn’t it?

9 responses to “Girlfriend Rental Agency

  1. You’re clearly certifiable but let me know if you find a girlfriend rental agency, please.
    Good post.

  2. Minus the very last request in your girlfriend rental agency–I’ve been saying for a long time I would absolutely do this for extra money! I already help a lot of my guy friends out with fashion advice, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping just because I enjoy it. Getting paid for make it even better…

  3. So, I meet a guy and he pays $20 for a ticket for us to go on a date–do something together (*a* date…one). Then, he expects me to go back to his place to have sex.

    As a “nice lady,” why does he think I’m cheaper than a hooker? Interesting. Additionally (in case you missed it), he could’ve probably found some slag…but he wants a NICE girl or a slag pretending to be nice. I don’t get it. I get guys want to have sex with almost anything but then go get a hooker or slag, right? I’ve never figured this out and don’t think I will ever be able to.

  4. @Madtabte. Forget the money: why don’t you want to have sex?

  5. I wish there was a “girlfriend rental” service.

    They are hookers…haha

  6. Thanks for the comments!

    wobsy: thanks for stopping by. Those agencies don’t usually mention the possibility of sleeping with people for some reason. I usually ask the “sleeping with me” question at most businesses … post office, bank, phone shop, convenience store, …
    They are pretty hush hush about that stuff.

    madtante: whatever happened to “I like this person … enough to sleep with them? (even if it’s only one person) … what the hey!”
    I agree with you on this one, if it was a first date and maybe the movie was crappy, there was no chemistry, and the guy was a knob.

    Stephanie Bennis: you should be doing work on Metrosexual Man … or whatever that show is called. I’m glad you do this for your male friends.
    Why can’t guys do this service for women? … “no, no, no! that smells like needy!“, “more beef! … less veggies!“, “if he says, ‘pull my finger’, pull his finger and laugh“.
    Maybe this is one thing that doesn’t go both ways … now that I think about it.

    bearmancartoons: hee hee!

  7. Should one assume that both birds are already dead?

  8. I don’t think a hooker would offer all the non-sex stuff. Maybe your Mum could give the advice on all that other stuff.

  9. Thanks for the comments.

    Tooty Nolan: I never assume birds are dead: not even the dodo!

    Tony: from experience I don’t think I’d listen to my mother’s advice, but maybe if I had to pay here $20 an hour for the advice I’d listen more closely.

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