Christmas stockings are like dead crows;
they are only good hanging up for decorative purposes.
note: as a kid I didn’t have a stocking with my name on it, I had to use the one with my older brother’s name on it. I always worried that on Christmas morning the stocking might be full of Playboys, cigarettes, and whiskey instead of toys and candy.
I don’t worry about that stuff now.
double note: has anyone ever worn out a Christmas stocking?
triple note: it would be pretty freaky to find a foot at the bottom of a Christmas stocking!!!
… unless that’s what you wanted.
I wrote out my Christmas Wish List today: Kim Jong-il, Robert Mugabe, co-worker, …
I mean my Christmas Hit List.