If You Were Me …

solitaire: ... it's a state of mind

 

– you’d first try like hell to wake up from what you thought was a very bad nightmare.

– you’d know how clever all my computer passwords are, but maybe not so impressed with my PIN#s. (It’s hard to be clever with 4 numbers)

– you might think “volleyballbearings” is funny.

– I wouldn’t be expecting a lot of presents on birthdays or at Christmas.

– remember that the left hand performs all functions. The right hand just plays a supporting role with heavy stuff.

– you might find yourself halfway down a few slippery slopes.

– you’d quickly learn that you can’t do that here.

– you would soon find out that flattery works only so far here … and torture will take you the rest of the way quickly.

– you’d know what I thought about … whoever you were before me.

– you’d have to read the “owner’s manual” thoroughly.

– things might look shorter because you’d probably be taller than you are now … unless you were Prairie Flounder  … because he’s definitely taller than you if you were me.

– you’d probably be disappointed at how far things have deviated from factory specifications.

– I’m sure you’d be saying the same things as … whoever the hell I was before whoever I am now.

– you might crave Pop Tarts periodically.

-you really wouldn’t be me because I’d be someone else … hopefully.

 

note: – you’d know if I won this game of Solitaire.

double note: If I was you … well I wouldn’t know anything about that.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

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9 responses to “If You Were Me …

  1. I think it would be “very interesting ” to be you for a day, at least!
    🙂

  2. If I were you I’d be more careful about writing posts like this…

  3. I believe my brain would implode were I you. I’d also have to buy new clothes and seek therapy.

  4. awwww…..(a gazillion hugs) if I were you, I’d be funny and sweet, and I’d know the english language and at least one more, inside and out. and If I were you, I think I’d have a lot of cool toys to play with, and I’d be oh so care free at a ridiculous age like 44 (kinda likd that girl, Sweetiegirlz, and oh, I’d be thinking how to get out of that nightmare too. Life’s way too short

  5. If I were you, my wife better not like me like she does now.

  6. I’d have trouble shopping, reading street signs, finding someone to talk to, answering the phone etc etc etc ‘cos I can’t speak Japanese.

  7. Its a very interesting idea!! I want to be you, mostly i want to be taller 🙂 …

  8. My wife once lived in Japan – but she never wrote stuff like this.

  9. Thanks for all the comments.

    Doraz: a day would be okay, but a lifetime is just too much to think about.

    pannonica: welcome back to the asylum! … or are you just here visiting someone?
    I heard I could talk about myself in the “4th person” … but maybe that’s just hearsay.

    S. Le: hee hee! boom! hee hee!

    sweetiegirlz: every age is ridiculous … but some of more ridiculing than others.

    razzbuffnik: I don’t know how to reply to that statement: I must be void … and into avoidance. (dancing vacantly)

    Tony: if you were me that stuff would be … still a problem … but you’d survive.

    Mental Mist: I hear there are shoes for that stuff.
    If I had to be someone else, I’d be someone living hopefully.

    Tooty Nolan: I’ve lived in Japan twice now … and I stick to printing usually. I’ve tried my feet, but they’re no better.

    note: thanks for all the comments! I’m wearing the cat’s pajamas … and it’s walking around naked.

    double note: I don’t have a cat … just those amazing cat’s pajamas in XXXXXXXXXXL size.

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