Boomerangs

non-returnable boomerang fridge magnet!

 

Whoever invented the boomerang must have had a seriously lazy dog.

 

note: Boomerangs are like yoyos: they both don’t come back to me.

double note: Is a “boomering” just a frisbee that comes back to you when you throw it up into the air on a windy day?

triple note: That guy really “boomerung” that emu’s neck!

quadruple note: When I think of a boomerang, I always think of that idiot in “The Road Warrior/ Mad Max 2” movie.

quintuple note: I thought boomerangs were unique to Australia … I was wrong

 

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60 responses to “Boomerangs

  1. That’s not a boomerang!

    It’s a hand made aboriginal novelty fake turd.

  2. I think of all those deaf students singing “Boomerang” in “Children of a Lesser God” …

  3. That
    Boomerang
    looks
    cool
    🙂

  4. You weren’t wrong! You were boomer-wrong. I enjoyed the sentence in the wikipedia article about the Indians killing rabbits and birds with boomerangs.
    And then I think of me in a forest throwing various objects at woodland creatures.

  5. I’m surprised that the wikipedia said some boomerangs don’t come back. Wouldn’t that just be a stick?

  6. Maybe all those other countries where boomerangs were once in use had the sense to develop (a) more obedient dogs and (b) methods of killing birds mid-flight with something a little more reliable like a gun.
    As for those entrepreneurial Aussies, I guess they saw a fantastic marketing opportunity for souvenir shops at airports where boomerangs and Aboriginal novelty fake turds are bestsellers.

  7. boomerang?? I thought that was some special Japanese sausage.

  8. Thanks for all the comments.

    razzbuffnik: actually it’s a fridge magnet!
    I knew I didn’t have a picture of a boomerang, but I had one of a cassowary behind a fence in a zoo and one of either an emu or an ostrich hanging out on a farm in Chile … but I wasn’t sure which … so delving into the fridge for another beer, I saw the fridge magnet! Beer helps sometimes. hee hee!

    Dennis the Vizsla: I didn’t really mean the guy that got all his fingers lopped off trying to catch the boomerang … I meant Mel Gibson! hee hee!

    Doraz: it’s about the size of my thumb, but not so cool. hee hee!

    Finicky Penguin: hee hee! I hear boomerangs make you smart! hee hee!

    Kelly Pettit: you are a stickler for detail. hee hee!

    epicurienne: I lost a bit of my sense of awe about the boomerang when I read the part about King Tut having a collection of boomerangs in that wiki entry.
    I think King Tut was also a big fan of hokey pokey icecream too! hee hee!

    Donald Diddams: I thought it was what a person says when they don’t like that crap on the top of lemon pie. hee hee!

  9. “Please, sir, may I have more hand made aboriginal novelty fake turds so I can get some goddam pudding, sir?”

  10. I think that quote was from “Oliver.”

  11. Bunk Strutts: hee hee!

    Where is my handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    Does it fall from skies above?
    Is it underneath the willow tree
    That I’ve been dreaming of?

  12. “…oh-OH girls just wanna have handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds; That’s all we really wa-a-a-nt.” — Cindy Lauper 1983

  13. “Hey-Hey, Mama,
    Like the way you move,
    Gonna make you sweat,
    Gonna make you a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.” — Robert Plant 1971

  14. “I wanna rock and roll all nite and make handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds every day
    I wanna rock and roll all nite and make handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds every day
    I wanna rock and roll all nite and make handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds every day
    I wanna rock and roll all nite and make handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds everyday” – Kiss

  15. “I love rock n’ roll,
    So put another dime in the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd, baby.” –Joan Jett 1981

  16. “So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
    blue skies from pain.
    Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
    A smile from a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    Do you think you can tell?
    And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
    Hot ashes for trees?
    Hot air for a cool breeze?
    Cold comfort for change?
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?”
    -Pink Floyd

  17. “If I had a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    I’d handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd in the morning;
    I’d handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd in the evening,
    All over this land
    I’d handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd out danger!
    I’d handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd out warning!
    I’d handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd out love between my brothers and my sisters,
    Aa-all over this land” –Pete Seeger 1949

  18. Oh, let’s take it up a level, shall we:

    To be a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd, or not to be a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd: that is the question:
    Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds of outrageous fortune,
    Or to take arms against a sea of handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds,
    And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
    No more; and by a sleep to say we end
    The handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds and the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to, ’tis a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd
    Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
    To sleep: perchance to dream of handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds: ay, there’s the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd;
    For in that sleep of death what handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds may come
    When we have shuffled off this handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd coil,
    Must give us handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds: there’s the respect
    That makes calamity of so long handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds;
    For who would bear the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds and scorns of time,
    The oppressor’s handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds, the proud man’s handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds, delay,
    The handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds of office and the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds
    That patient merit of the unworthy handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds takes,
    When he himself might his handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds make
    With a bare bodkin? who would fardels handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds bear,
    To grunt and sweat under a weary handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    But that the dread of some handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds after death,
    The undiscover’d country from whose handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds
    No traveller returns, puzzles the will
    And makes us rather bear those handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds we have
    Than fly to other handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds that we know not of?
    Thus handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd does make handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds of us all;
    And thus the native hue of handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds
    Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds,
    And handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds of great pith and moment
    With this regard their handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds turn awry,
    And lose the name of handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds.–Soft you now!
    The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds
    Be all my sins remember’d.

  19. “I need handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds tonight
    ‘Cause I’m not sleeping
    There’s something about handmade aboriginal fake novelty turds
    That makes me sweat”
    -INXS

  20. And each time I feel like hand made aboriginal novelty fake turds inside,
    There’s one thing I wanna know:
    Whats so funny bout a hand made aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    Whats so funny bout a hand made aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    -Elvis Costello

  21. You gotta fight for your right to handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd
    -Beastie Boys

  22. “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd, too!” — The Wicked Witch (Margaret Hamilton) 1939

  23. Luke: “I can eat 50 handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds.”

    Dragline: “Nobody can eat 50 handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds.”

    -Cool Hand Luke 1967

  24. “Sweet dreams are made of this;
    Who am I to disagree?
    I travel the world
    And the seven seas–
    Everybody’s looking for a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.” –Annie Lennox 1983

  25. Pingback: The handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd game « raincoaster

  26. “I come from a land down under handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd”
    Men at Work 1981

  27. “Let it be, let it be;
    Let it be, now, let it be;
    There will be a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd, let it be.” –Paul McCartney 1970

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  29. “Come on baby…don’t fear the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd”
    -Blue Oyster Cult 1976

  30. Too much. I love it. But you’ve all forgotten the obvious one:

    Once a jolly swagman camped while his aboriginal novelty fake tur-urd boiled
    Under the shade of the abo turd tree
    And he sang as he sat and waited while his aboriginal novelty fake turd boiled
    Who’ll come a waltzing Matilda with me?

  31. Pingback: In The Center « I Am The Cheese

  32. “I want to fly like a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd
    To the sea
    Fly like a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd
    Let my spirit carry me”

    -Steve Miller Band 1976

  33. “Get your motor runnin’
    Head out on the highway;
    Lookin’ for a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd;
    And whatever comes our way.
    –Steppenwolf 1968

  34. Pingback: I am not worthy of this honor… « Tacky Raccoons

  35. “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.”

    – Hannibal Lecter

  36. “Sheena is:
    A handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd;
    She-ena is:
    A handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd;
    Sheena is:
    A handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd Nowowow.”

    Joey Ramone 1977

  37. “Every handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd is sacred.
    Every handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd is great.
    If a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.”

    – Monty Python

  38. “A-Uno, a-dos;
    A-one, two, tres, quatro!

    Matty told Hatty,
    About a thing she saw;
    Had two big horns,
    And a woolly jaw,
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.

    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.
    Watch it now watch it! Here come!”

    –Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs 1965

  39. Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Would you take me by the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Would you take me by the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    Can you show me
    The shine of your handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    The sparkle of your handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd?
    Can you show me
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    I’m gonna sell my handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd in town.

    -Steely Dan

  40. “Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd
    Those days are over
    You don’t have to sell your body to the night
    Roxanne, you don’t have to wear that handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd tonight
    Walk the streets for money
    You don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right”

    – The Police 1978

  41. How does it feel? How does it feel?
    To be flying like bird
    Silent and unheard
    Like a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd

    – Bob Dylan

  42. Oh, handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd, I’m in fear for my handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd from the long arm of the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd has put an end to my handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd and I’m so far from my handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.
    Oh, handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd, I can hear you crying you’re so scared and all alone
    Handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd is comin’ down from the handmade aboriginal novelty fake turds and I don’t have very
    long.

    – Styx 1978

  43. Say ‘hello’ to my leetle handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd!

  44. “Hasta la vista handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.”

    – the Terminator

  45. “(Ooga chaka, OogaOoga,
    Ooga chaka, OogaOoga)
    I can’t stop this handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    Deep inside of me…”

    Blue Swede 1974

  46. “Beeda bing, bing bing, bing bing, bing bing…;
    Beeda bing, bing bing, bing bing, bing bing…;
    Beeda bing, bing bing, bing bing, bing bong…;
    Beeda bing, bing bing, bing bing, bing bong…;
    Beeda bing bing bing;
    Beeda bing bing bing.”

    Duelling Handmade Aboriginal Novelty Fake Turds / The Theme to Deliverance 1972

  47. “When you’re a Jet,
    You’re a Jet all the way
    From your first cigarette
    To your last dyin’ handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd”

    – West Side Story

  48. “I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
    Long as I got my handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd
    Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car.”

  49. “Look! Up in the sky!”
    “It’s a bird!”
    “It’s a plane!”
    “No! It’s a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.”

    –Miscellaneous people of the City of Metropolis, 1951

  50. “You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Handmade Aboriginal Novelty Fake Turd Zone!”

    -Rod Serling 1959

  51. “I come in last night about half past ten,
    That baby of mine wouldn’t let me in.
    So move it on over;
    Rock it on over;
    Move over little handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd,
    A mean, old handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd is movin’ in.”

    –George Thorogood 1978 (misquoting Hank Willams 1947)

  52. “I got a handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd.”

    – Charlie Brown 1966
    (It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)

  53. “With a knick-knack paddywhack, give the dog a bone;
    This old handmade aboriginal novelty fake turd goes rolling home.”

    –Trad. c. 1906

  54. Finally got around to watching Australia last night. There were no handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turds to speak of but there was one Aboriginal novelty fake turd-shaped harmonica, which frequently played
    “Somewheeeeere over the rainbow, handmade Aboriginal novelty fake tuuuuurds fly…”

  55. Epic, “Finally got around to watching Australia last night”.

    What on earth possessed you to watch that jingoistic piece of twaddle?

  56. I’ll bet that a HANFT had something to do with it.

  57. At risk of dragging down the thread by being juvenile:

    “I Can Lick Thirty Handmade Aboriginal Novelty Fake Turds Today”

    and

    “I do not like green handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turds
    I do not like them, Sam I Am.”
    ~Doctor Seuss

    Finally:
    “You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turd, which is what I am, let’s face it.”
    ~Marlon Brando

  58. “I Am the handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turd of the Lord”
    ~Luke 1:38

    Hey … my toes feel warm.

  59. “”The handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turd is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s a handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turd created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.”
    ~Obi Wan Kenobi

  60. “In the beginning, there was the handmade Aboriginal novelty fake turd. And the turd was without form, and void …”

    Genesis 1:1

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