Yogurt Vandalism

 yogurt or something in excretiating pain?


I thought a bird shit on my van, but after tasting it … I realized it was just bad yogurt.


note: there’s possibly someone out there flinging yogurt on people’s cars … and statues maybe.

double note: the misuse of dairy products is happening dairily … or daily … or something like that.

triple note: I have a milk bone to pick with these vandals … or possibly I just have a wish bone to pick with them.

quadruple note: this one is on time earlier than usual. It’s Mr. Badger’s Birthday tonight, so I think there may be a beer or two hoisted … because we don’t have any flags … and you can’t get a beer buzz off of a  flag. I’m sure we will be flagging later on though … and then we will go home.




12 responses to “Yogurt Vandalism

  1. How do you know it wasn’t just yoghurt flavoured bird shit?

    Be glad it wasn’t egg. My car got egged years ago whilst I was driving on the freeway. The people who did it, did it just as an off ramp came up, so they were able to make a get away that I couldn’t do anything about.

    As soon as I got home (only about 20 minutes later) I tried to wash the egg off. It was unbelievably difficult to remove and it took me over an hour.

  2. I think this is some sort of Squeegee Man plot …

  3. O no you didn’t EVER taste it?? Say you didn’t right this second.

  4. Maybe next time you can try smelling it… instead!
    Have fun!

  5. I’m not in the habit of tasting bird shite. How is it then? Does it depend on what they ate? I’d only want to taste Chocolate bird shite.

  6. Thanks for all the comments.

    razzbuffnik: because I tasted it … and I know what that yogurt flavoured bird shit tastes like. hee hee!

    w1kkp: I didn’t taste the stuff on the windshield really, but I did eat the rest of the yogurt in the container. hee hee.
    I was going to use a photo of an actual birdshit on the van, but it wasn’t very photogenic, so I opted for a staged recreation instead.

    Dennis the Vizsla: I haven’t seen a squeegee person in Japan. I do remember a Peruvian taxi driver buying a screwdriver set off of some guy selling them at a traffic signal in Lima, while he drove me to the airport. It took him a whole red light to make up his mind.

    Doraz: that’s just dirty! hee hee!

    S. Le: it was a “free range birdshit” … so it must be pretty good! hee hee!

  7. Our car got poo’d on once by a pelican perched on an overhead street light. It stank extremely fishy & there was so much of it
    Maybe there is a gang of car yogurters lurking your neighbourhood, or maybe they are after just you….

  8. Tony: On a holiday in California as a kid, I was at the San Diego Zoo and asked my father what time it was. He lifted his arm, pulled back the sleeve on his shirt to look at his watch, and a bird shit right on his watch at that exact moment!
    I kid you not!
    I think he thought it was pretty funny even as he tried to wiped the shit off of his watch, arm, and shirt.

  9. Thanks for the laugh! It looks like paint! (but then that wouldn’t be funny)

  10. I guess it was telling your dad it was time to go to the toilet

  11. 2 Week's Notice

    Is this what Dannon meant when they made up the yogurt-flavoured product “Gogurt?”

    Your van may be a trademark violation then!

  12. Thanks for the comments.

    sweetiegirlz: I lost one of the pineapple chunks when I did my splatter job. (sad face)

    Tony: I wonder how many people get their cellphones crapped on?

    2 Week’s Notice: my van is a violation of some kind all right. hee hee.

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