The Pearly Gates

purely gates inc.


Who thought up this “Pearly Gates” mumbo jumbo?

It  just brings up too many other questions.

– Does Heaven really need a gate to keep people out? … or in?

– Does this mean it’s possible to sneak in to Heaven?

– Is Heaven under attack?

– Should I be worried about security if I go there?

– Is there a big brick wall attached to these Pearly Gates?

– Can I see over the gate to make sure I’m not walking in to a trap?

– Will I have to wait around if I arrive after hours?

– Is there a Pearly Turnstile too?


I’m not impressed with this “Pearly Gates” imagery …

… I’d rather just walk through a “mettle detector“.


note: amazingly great song by Brett Dennen here  (click on Heaven over to the right, not the entire song .. but most of it)   and a sad one from Chris Rea  here  on the Heaven theme.

double note: maybe they are “purely gates“.

triple note: if I’ve offended anyone, I haven’t meant to; just playing with ideas and words and stuff.

quadruple note: I was going to put a “Welcome Matt” in the drawing, but didn’t want to leave out Mark, Luke, and John.

10 responses to “The Pearly Gates

  1. I like your quadruple note. 🙂

  2. ‘Does Heaven really need a gate to keep people out? … or in?’

    This question would be a stumper for even Socrates if he’s a living christian now.
    I wonder if any extremist christian could answer this right.
    Bravo Planetross.

  3. From a theological perspective it is obvious that Pearly Gates exist in Heaven.

    If they didn’t how could we tell jokes about people arriving in Heaven & meeting St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

    If there are Pearly Gates then there must obviously be Heavenly Oysters too…

  4. You mean when I get to Heaven I am not getting my pearls I have been waiting for? I wanted to be styling in Heaven with them! 🙂

  5. Cynical Scribble

    There is a ‘joke’ involving a necklace somewhere there…


  6. How I wish I could joke like Tony, Doraz, and CS 🙂

  7. In this day and age with all kinds of craziness around, you’d better worry about security up there! Especially if that mettle detector isn’t working properly!

    And I agree with Tony, I’d be looking forward to those heavenly oysters. That’s probably why they need so much security.

  8. There’s also a pearly hand-stamp booth so you can get back in. You know, like if you left your sunglasses in your car or something.

  9. Doraz, weren’t you paying attention, heavenly oysters = pearls… you will have them or may God strike me dead or delete my Blog if I’m lying…
    Ok I’m still alive, I better go check my blog’s still there….

  10. Thanks for all the comments.

    sweetiegirlz: I guess those guys got picked for the job because they had popular names. Not many kids called “Thaddaeus” kicking around these days.

    pochp: thanks for stopping by. I bet Socrates could figure out the “Why does 7-11 have locks on the door when they are always open?” question though. hee hee!

    Tony: Who is this Theo guy with all this logical stuff?
    Everyone knows it’s Christmas in Heaven everyday! It was in a movie; it must be true.

    Doraz: you’ll have to leave those materialistic things behind in Heaven … at the coat check. hee hee!

    Cynical Scribble: you bad! hee hee!

    Donald Diddams: I bet security uniforms in Heaven are pretty cool!

    Tucker The Much-Better-Than-Dennis Vizsla: hey! I’m getting better at typing out your name!
    Thank God for that hand stamp idea!

    Tony: 12 comments in row is a record! … and you also broke the record for mentioning the time 3 times too! hee hee!

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