Monthly Archives: March 2009

A Rear View Point

The fish is an air freshner! ... but not fishy scented.

 

While at the front of a procession of cars,  I drove around a bend in the road.
Glancing in the rearview mirror a few seconds later, I noticed there were no cars behind me.
I guess someone was trying to turn on to a side road and everyone else had to stop.

It made me feel a little nervous and worried anyway.

This happened to me on a rollercoaster once, but I don’t think any side roads were involved.

 

note: Can rollercoaster cars fly?  That would explain a lot.

double note: if you turn your body around in a car and use a mirror to drive forward with, is that a “forward view mirror“?

 

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If I’m Here, It Must Be Today #1

"Talk About It" from Kelly Pettit's "FUEL"

 

Today my scratch tickets weren’t very itchy.

 

 

It's a note, but not one of those "Cole" ones.

subtitle:

“Talk About It”   A possible Addams Family intervention.

 

I’ll try to do one of these a day, until I run out of  Kelly Pettit  song titles! He’s got 4 CDs, so it should take a while.

“Talk About It” from Kelly Pettit’s  “FUEL”.

 

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Track Lines #4

 the ties that bind

 

 Me: I been to the edge and there I stood and looked down.

Him: Are you talking about your weight loss?

Me: I Ain’t talking ’bout love!

Him: Crap! Here we go again!

 

* great photo courtesy of nathaliewithanh.

*  great song here .

* Track Lines #1 and #2  and #3 are still spinning.

 

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What A Year A Difference Makes

 

soon to re-opened!

 

It’s been a whole entire consecutive 12 months in a row on wordpress!

Yes it’s a blogoversary post!
(but I still like to think of it as a weblerversary)

I started this blog with no real direction or purpose … and it’s brought me back to March 18th anyway!

I will continue in this non-directional direction with out purpose and hopefully will arrive on a different date at the same time next year.

I may even strive for greater directionlessness and less purposefulness … as long as it doesn’t involve any effort  or require changing too much of anything at all.

I’m feeling as energetic as a one year old tadpole, cocoon, or veal calf.
Looking back over the year’s entries, I feel like a formerly constipated cat who’s filled up the litter box with deposits it didn’t know it had in it!

I’ve enjoyed reading and commenting on all your blogs over there in the blogroll. I think I have learned a bit, grew a bit, and laughed a lot. Well done!

It’s been great … and blah blah blah … and special thanks to  … and so on and so forth … and well done … and vigorous handshakes … and sunshine and lollipops for everyone!

I know a lot of people write the above emotional stuff on their blogoversaries, but I sincerely mean it.

but seriously … thanks for looking at this stuff, leaving comments, and making me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside … and sometimes on the outside.

 

note:  planetross has expanded in the last year … by about 5 kilo! This blogging has taken its toll.
I’m living in a book called “For Whom The Blog Tolls” and it’s tolling on me!
So as a matter of principle … and using this blog for alternative motivational purposes, I will not post another entry until I am 88 kilos again!
It could take a few days or a few weeks, but it has to be done.

I’ll still be reading and commenting on stuff: just no new entries.

See you soon!

 

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Woof!

GURRRGGGGHHHH!

 

I do like wrestling!

Why do you ask?

 

note: this is what happens when dogs lose bets.

double note: I think this dog would like to disown its owner.

triple note: when I asked to take the photo, the owner made sure the mask and outfit were all straightened and tidy.

quadruple note: I’d hate to see how their kids are dressed.

quintuple note:

“How does it feel to be wearing that outfit in public?”

“Ruff!”

 

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Character Building

Mickey getting mobbed

When I see costumed characters, I am aware that there is a person in the costume sweating away and doing a job.

I think most adults share this awareness.

But at Disney Parks, many people seem to forget this and 
… basically go crazy when they spot Mickey and company wandering around.

I’m not totally immuned: I get sucked in to the fantasy for a second before I start thinking that there most likely is a short woman in the Mickey outfit.

I didn’t fully grasp what an amazing  job Disney has done in creating this illusion until last weekend at DisneySea.

While watching Mickey appear in many different outfits during a musical performance, my friend said “Mickey must have to change into all those costumes really quickly backstage.

I replied “Maybe it’s just a different person in a different Mickey Mouse costume with a different outfit coming out each time.

I’m mean like that sometimes.

 

note: How fast would Disney sue me for walking around in a Mickey Mouse costume?

double note:
How many people have had their photo taken with a person wearing a Mickey Mouse costume at a Disney Park over the years?  millions? billions?
How many people while showing their photos say, “This is me with a person in a Mickey Mouse costume.”?  probably none.

triple note: Do you want your Disney dream bubble burst? There is a little guy in the Minnie costume waiting for work to finish so he can go out and get drunk with his buddies.   POP!

quadruple note: I do like Disney parks and will put another entry on in the near future with more Disney Outlandishness.

 

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Money Making Scheme #13

still cool on the sun!

 

I’m  going to sell non-melting ice.

It’s a simple yet ingenious method: actually I am quite surprised that I thought of it.

Now that I think about it … I don’t know who would really want non-melting ice. Maybe I’ll just throw out all the paperwork and notes on this one and chalk it up as a bad idea.

 

note: “non-melting popsicles” would suck big time … even if you sucked on them big time.

double note: Wow! that opens up a lot of room in my freezer!

triple note: “non-freezing ice” would probably be a better money maker.

quadruple note: the water in my frying pan is from not washing and drying it properly with regular water.

quintuple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  and 12 are still scheming.

sextuple note: I’m off for an adventure this weekend! I think DisneySea may be involved! Have a great weekend! See you (figuratively) on Monday.

 

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Insanity

slipping into something

 “The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”

Hunter S. Thompson

 

If a person can be classified as “legally insane”, what does that make the rest of us … “illegally insane”?

 

note: maybe I’m “illegally sane“: I can’t remember ever taking a test.

double note: if you actually are made to take an insanity test, that’s probably not a good sign.

triple note: I bet people study like crazy for those insanity tests.

quadruple note: I think many people are borderline insane; customs make a lot of people a bit disturbed.

 

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People Who Talk To Themselves …

stone in love

 

People who talk to themselves:

– should think about what they are saying.

– make me grumble.

– should pretend they are sleeping … because that stuff can’t be helped.

– are just breathing phonetically.

– shouldn’t … because after a while the conversation may get a bit one-sided.

– are utterly annoying.

– eventually don’t have anyone to talk to.

– should have a pet or phone with them so they don’t look so weird.

– are unsound … but with sound!

– should speak more clearly.

– probably go crazy eventually.

– shouldn’t … because they more often than not digress into mumbling, groaning, and grunting.

– really should start singing to themselves … because that’s okay!

 

note: The above statue has nothing to do with someone talking to themself. Someone told me to take a picture of it; but when I looked around to see who said it, the person was gone.

double note: has anyone heard from jimsmuse or pannonica?  … because sometimes I feel like I’m blogging to myself without them around. (sad face)

 triple note: I noticed pannonica was back while doing this, but will leave her in the double note because it’s the thought that matters. (smiley face)

 quadruple note: I can’t hear myself think out loud with those people around!

 

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Human Soup

cult stuff

 

I’ve joined a cult!

It’s not a crazy one or anything.

It probably falls somewhere between dog breeding and bowling on the culto-meter, but there are no dogs or breeding or funny shoes involved.

The cult isn’t trying to destabilize the government or destroy the world. It’s working with the government to save the world. But … it’s all hush hush.

We are the first line of defense against alien invaders!

human soup bowl

Basically the members sit naked in outdoor hot spring fed pools up in the mountains as bait: waiting for the eventual invasion of aliens that I’m sure will happen sometime soon, but hopefully while I’m not there.

another human soup bowl

The master plan is to offer delicious human soup to alien invaders before they decide to go destroying all those important places where all the most important people are doing amazing things to make life better for all mankind: talk show audiences.

 I think they might blow up the White House and other crap too as secondary targets … or just for fun because they’ve watched all those crappy movies.

another human soup bowl

While the aliens are hovering over these pools, dipping their big spoons in to the human soup, and possibly arguing over whether to add crackers or not; great minds will be figuring out the most effective way to defeat the aliens.
I’m sure saltwater, yodelling music, and koala bears are high on the list of weapons to be tested.

  human soup compound with alien thing in front

 I usually fulfill my duty in one of the regional branch centers, but when I visited the main control compound … or Takaragawa Hotel and Onsen, as they prefer to be known because it’s very super top secret, I was very impressed.

There are a lot of interesting things that the average person probably passes off as memorabilia or antiques or something, but all the stuff has significance once you join the cult.

 possible alien artifacts

 These things ward off aliens … and prospective mating partners, if you pull them out and get excited about them.

 possible alien dinner bell

This bell sends an audible sound through something called “airwaves” to attract aliens to dine at the pool.

 possibly things aliens don't like

Supposedly aliens don’t like recycling, Curious George, clamps, drums, or teddy bears. It’s a well kept secret only told to the indoctrinated.

 possibly cool stuff behind this door

 I haven’t reached a high enough level in the cult to find out what secrets lie behind this door, … but … I was tall enough to stand on the rocks in front to see that there wasn’t much back there except a bit of garbage.

There is no brainwashing involved, only a bit of body washing before entering the pools.

And if by some horrible coincidence the aliens do drop by while I’m bathing, I’m sure I will be so relaxed and mellow that I won’t really care what happens to me.

 

note: don’t ask other cult members in the pools if they think the aliens will come today: that’s a no-no.

 

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