Money Making Scheme #7

 

I’m going to sue my former self.

I’m not sure if I should go with the mental anguish or the physical neglect angle.

I never used to look and feel like this!    Someone is responsible!

I figure there isn’t any statute of limitation about this sort of thing, and my former self had a bit of money in the bank.

note: if I had a time machine, I could go back and steal his identity.

double note: I’d sue my future self, but he’d probably counter-sue me.

triple note: I’d probably file in the U.S. because … if an idiot who spills hot coffee on themselves can sue McDonald’s and win, I should have no problem.

quadruple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 are still scheming.

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7 responses to “Money Making Scheme #7

  1. Don’t you know someone else with more money who you could blame? I mean, if you sue yourself, all you’ll get is all your old stuff. I’d try suing society, since they really are to blame for all your woes. If it wasn’t for them, things would be great!

    -Turkish Prawn

  2. call 1-800-GET-A-SHARK…i’m sure they’ll help you cook something up. 🙂

    just wanted to swing by and say “hi”. i’ve seen your comments on some blogs i frequent and wanted to check you out!!!

    curlywurlygurly: thanks for stopping by.

  3. Why don’t you simply take a huge liability insurance policy and wait for something dreadful to happen to you? When it does, you sue yourself. For a lot of money (those Japanese stairs look awfully steep!)

    Mental anguish, eh? Good one! I’m sure that will give your former self a good long laugh.

    In regard to the McDonalds case, the punitive damages were reduced from 2.7 million to a mere $480,000, but let it be known that the plaintiff sustained third degree burns, spent 8 days in the hospital, and underwent skin grafting. The suit was not without merits.

  4. Nathalie – yes but she was the idiot who po ured hot coffee in her own lap.

  5. Augusto, she was 79 years old. Old people are not very sturdy. It could have been your grandma!

    McDonalds kept the coffee at temperatures over 180 degrees so that it would retain its taste. Let’s just say it was not exactly industry standard.

    See what you’ve started planetross? Dissension and polemic right there on your pristine I Sit On The Fence Blog.

  6. Thanks for all the comments.

    Hey! No use arguing over spilt coffee.

  7. This space/time shite makes my brain hurt.

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