Don’t mess with me man!

If it wasn’t for my oddly shaped matchstick head, I’d be in the Fantastic Four!


note: The makers of this sign are blowing everything out of proportion; especially the proportions.

double note: Can I put this on my CV/resume as a skill?

triple note: lighters are heavier than matches.

quadruple note: ban fire if that’s how you feel.

5 responses to “Fire

  1. You claim it’s due to your “matchstick shaped” head, but have you considered the idea your lack any superpowers (that I know of) and that the FF are imaginary might also be a contributing factor?

  2. Liar liar pants on fire! Or at least exaggerator exaggerator pants on fior!

    According to my investigation, the temperature of the lit cigarette only reaches 700 degrees at the middle of the lit portion and ONLY during drawing.

    The temperature without drawing is a mere 580 degrees. I don’t think that makes you graduate to human torch level.

    What is the problem with Japanese translators?

  3. Thanks for the comments.

    jimsmuse: Are you throwing a bucket of water on my dream? I feel very unsuperhuman now; I feel human!

    nathaliewithanh: I guess if I walk around with 2 lit cigarettes I’ll be 1160 degrees!
    With enough cigarettes I could be as hot as the sun!

  4. The bit about walking around with 700 degrees C in my hand is ridiculously funny! The English translations could nearly be worth the trip to Japan. Notice I said NEARLY.

    S. Le: I guess it’s true, but it’s probably true for people walking around with lit candles at an outdoor protest or vigil; now those people are hazards. hee hee

  5. I always knew you were a dangerous guy to hang around. Carrying a pack of weapons at your every disposal is proof!

    Kelly Pettit: Carrying a pack of weapons and a disposable weapon too! You better believe I am vicious when nicotine deficient!

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