Randall’s Crandles

Randall's Crandles

This is the story of Randall’s time spent in Time-Out city.

Nine year old Randall was like most other children his age: rottenish. He never wrote letters to his grandmother to thank her for gifts; never ate all his vegetables; and never ever brushed his teeth properly or squeezed the toothpaste tube from the bottom.


Randall's Crandles

Eventually he was arrested for repeatedly going down the up escalator and up the down escalator at a local department store. His sentence was to be served in Time-Out city where he would have to earn enough money to pay his fine. To make money, children were given the barest of materials and had to use their imagination to create products that people would buy.

Fed only parsley left over from local restaurant dinner plates and forced to sleep on old bristly “WELCOME” mats, the incentive to succeed was great. 

Randall's Crandles


Some children made underwear out of lint from clothes’ dryers. Some children sewed old elevator buttons on to even older shirts; some sold broken shoelaces for broken shoes. One child even sold extra belt holes!

Randall was only given crayon bits that were too small to use for coloring. He tried selling them as they were, but that proved impossible. 

Hungry and sad, little Randall molded the crayon bits in to candle form by warming and squeezing them together in his hands. The birthday candle sized candles looked very nice, but they were missing one candle element: they had no wicks.

He sat on the sidewalk with his colorful unlightable crayon candles displayed in a shoe box with lettering on the front proclaiming “CRANDLES“. Day after day people passed by, peered into his shoebox, and walked away shaking their heads laughing.

Finally after weeks of people peering but not buying, a man came and looked interestingly at Randall’s Crandles. 

Can you light them?” the man asked.

No” Randall answered ready for rejection.

Good, I’ll buy them all.” replied the man.

What will you use them for?” Randall asked enquiringly.

I will sell them to people so happy and content that they don’t need to make birthday wishes. Most of these people are pretty old, so they will need to buy a lot of them.” answered the man.

And that is how Randall made enough money to pay his fine and return to his home where he always rode store escalators the proper way and even used the handrails occasionally.



9 responses to “Randall’s Crandles

  1. Is this based on a true story? Think I saw it on BBC. What was your inspiration? Sake?

    S. Le: Originally I was just thinking about eating crayons and pooping out candles that people wouldn’t buy because of how they were made, and then I just went from there … and got rid of the part about defecated candles.
    No sake. Stone cold sober and worked most of it out while driving to a shopping center today. I ended up buying some crayons for work and broke into them to draw the picture.
    Thanks for the compliment.

  2. It’s actually quite a clever story.

    S. Le: Actually I was thinking … if I had to eat a crayon, what colour would I eat. I hear they added a Macaroni and Cheese coloured one now! With just regular colours, I would have to eat the red one and think of red licorice very loudly.

  3. Ah Ross, I just adore you. 😉

    note to planetross: I think I would have adored you a whole lot less if the candles had been defecated.

    nathaliewithanh: I’m glad you liked it. Sometimes I have to let ideas digest for a while.

  4. such a sweet story. I think you’ve found your true calling…writing children’s books. BRAVO. I will read this to the gurlies. (((hugs)))

    sweetiegirlz: Thanks. I like this one too.

  5. The ending made me all warm & fuzzy

    Tony: sweaters in the summer cause the same effect for me…. and there is no reading involved!!

  6. That.. was awesome!

    I have a good friend who’s a children’s book writer and illustrator. I WILL be sending him this link! He needs to read this.

    Pure awesome!

    -Turkish Prawn

    Turkish Prawn: Thanks for the compliment. I am blushing. I hope your friend likes it … and is J.K. Rowling!

  7. I just plain loved this story (although being an odd person I would have enjoyed it just as much with the pooping left in, I think).

    I’m with Turkish Prawn — this story needs to be seen and read! Sweetiegirlz isn’t the only one who’s going to be reading this story to some kids soon!

    jimsmuse: Thanks. I’m sure I can think of a few more. I thought the poop candles could be bought by a baker selling stale cake which he sold to people who didn’t like cake but enjoyed birthdays. Then I changed my mind.

  8. I came across your blog, and I am glad I did. I certainly enjoyed this story. I will continue reading more of your blog. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Cheryl: thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you liked the story. I have a few others under “Children’s Stories” up in the blog header. I’m sure I’ll be adding to those eventually.

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