First Impressions



12 years ago I stayed with a Kiwi friend in London. She lived with 10 other Kiwis in a flat in Acton.

I hadn’t heard the Kiwi accent for 3 years, so I was ready to listen carefully and prepared to say “excuse me” and “pardon” more than normal, when the first 2 flatmates arrived home from work.

They were brother and sister and seemed to be in a heated argument.

The conversation went something like …  “No, you are the c**t.” “Who ya calling c**t? c**t“. “F**k you, you c**t“.  

Eventually, I asked the woman what her job was.  She replied.

“Pardon”, I said.

She repeated her answer.

“Excuse me”, I said.

Her brother noticed that I was having trouble with the accent and asked me what I thought she was saying.

“She’s a dick licker“, I replied.

She yelled,  “I’m a debt collector!

Myself and her brother became good friends.


note: I eventually visited their hometown of Huntly. I would have put in a picture of the place’s main attraction “the power plant“, but the website wanted me to buy the photo! (seriously)


One response to “First Impressions

  1. Interesting occupation that. Bet she is v busy!

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