Saliva

 

 

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

George Carlin

Saliva! A renewable resource.

When someone deposits some on you, you usually don’t like it.

Exchanging some during a passionate kiss, you don’t even think about it.

Gob, spit, drool, spittle, slaver, or dribble.

not to be confused with…  snot, phlem, expectorant, sputum, hork, loogies, or lungers.

Multipurpose Saliva: good not only for eating, but …

  1. Cleaning: the universal cleanser used by mothers and others everywhere.
  2. Amusement: spitting off bridges and tall buildings; faking out fish looking for food; spitballs.
  3. Threading Needles: usually used in conjunction with squinting.
  4. Turning Pages: be careful with those library books.
  5. Insulation:  on the fingers when checking to see if something is hot, or putting out candles.
  6. Showing Disgust: “I spit in your general direction”
  7. Praise: impressing other 10 year olds with the ability to accurately hit targets with the “between the gapped tooth” delivery.
  8. Scoring: chalking up points on an imaginary board.
  9. Information: checking wind direction.
  10. Torture: intimidating pinned and powerless siblings with long hangers directed at their faces. Then at the last moment sucking it back into your mouth, or not. (oops!)

 note: if you don’t like my blog, check out others at:

http://humor-blogs.com/

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4 responses to “Saliva

  1. Isn’t snot from the nose?

  2. paperdreamer: You are correct.
    But it can be expelled from the mouth too. I always liked the scene in “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” when they get the ride in the truck and the driver does this 🙂

  3. Also good for choking on if you breath it in accidentally!

  4. This has happened to other people too? Cool!

    In the past, I have tried to pretend I did not just choke on air, making my situation further perilous.

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