Giraffe Machinations

 

 Sure nothing runs like a Deere,

but nothing hides like a Giraffe

… in a heavy machinery area.

 

note: I can’t run and hide … I’m not a multitasker!

double note: hiding an elephant involves shades of gray.

triple note: I saw an elephant hide once … it’s pretty sad that some people still do that.

quadruple note: a Giraffe Caterpillar must become a pretty massive Giraffe Butterfly.

quintuple note: people probably don’t paint giraffes on those huge industrial cranes because a “giraffe crane” sounds dumb.

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Today #300

Last night I ate all the green vegetables in my fridge. Today I’m thinking of eating all the blue ones … I’m not very hungry really.

Not Only Elephants

 

How many straws are necessary to break your back?
How many buttons have to be pushed?
Where is the line drawn in the sand?
Water boils at  100 °C (212 °F) … when do you boil?

If you wake up in the morning with a straw, button, and a sandy line embedded in your skull, I may have stopped by.

I’m probably at home cooking with the boiling water.

 

note: I don’t hold grudges; I carry them in my pockets.

double note: I’m all about live and let live, but that doesn’t mean I’m forgetful.

triple note: this post has no relevance to things happening now. I’m just reminiscing … or reminisinging things.  hee hee!

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Today #271

Today I realized that I do remember most people in a positive way … and realized that my best friend‘s video needed to be posted again over here.

Memorandom

 

I wish I were an elephant.

I forget why.

 

note: maybe it has to do with peanuts … or being sprayed with a hose … or something like that.

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Today #21

Today was like spitting out of a car window.

Sloths

 

Two-toed Sloths and Three-toed Sloths do not mate with each other.

It’s only a toe!

That seems pretty picky.

 

note: I think I’m one eighth sloth from my father’s side.

double note: I’m a Five-toed Sloth.

triple note: I guess African and Indian elephants don’t mate with each other either … but that’s because of  language and distance.

 

notes to myself #6

Darth Vader is Luke and Leia’s father! Yes they are twins! I know it’s unbelievable, but it’s true! … okay don’t believe me brace face!

Weigh Scales

 

Do really heavy people have to stand on 2 weigh scales to know their weight?

… I guess if you’re really super heavy you’d have to stand on 3 weigh scales. 

 

note: “moderation” is just a modern name for rationing.

double note: no matter how many times people say “No Way!”, the scales still do.

triple note: if I become super heavy, I’m definitely going to spend a lot of time at the beach: those whales can’t be wrong.
… I don’t know what those elephants are thinking: obviously they don’t speak hippo.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Simple Explanations

 

 

 

I’ve just realized that I’ve never seen anyone bring an elephant in to the local veterinarian clinic!

I guess they don’t get sick very often.

 

note:  “Elephants” by Linda Edwards from here.

double note: Do elephants suffer from humaniasis?

triple note: Wow! I forgot to put on an entry yesterday: I’m no elephant, I guess.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

I Am

 

 

I am …

as quick as a mouse … a very slow mouse.

as fat as a pig … an anorexic pig.

as brave as a lion … a scared lion.

as smart as a fox … a not so bright fox.

as gentle as a kitten … an aggressive mean kitten.

as happy as a clam … a sad clam.

and

as crazy as a shithouse rat… a shithouse rat on medication for craziness.

note:I have the memory of an elephant … mmm … peanuts are good.

double note: people shouldn’t be stereotyping these animals; it’s probably bad for their self esteem.

triple note: De Niro didn’t even wear a bull costume in that movie! What a rip off!!

quadruple note: does anyone else use “happy as a clam” or is it a regional thing?

quintuple note: “stereotyping” is a bit dated now; shouldn’t it be “mp3-keyboarding“?

http://humor-blogs.com/