I Am The Cheese

 

I bought a Hair Labo (see above picture). It cost $10. Was it worth it? Let’s find out.

The package says grass should start appearing between 5-12 days.

Hair Labo is made in Thailand and is sold by Plabo. e-mail address: plabo@violin.ocn.ne.jp

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Week Four: visible growth, water level visibly lower.

Mr. Lower Back is doing crappy. 5 hairs only! None from the supposed growing region. I went back to the store and checked out the display ones. They all have tons on hair. I must have got a bad one. Maybe his scalp is too thick; I’m going to poke holes in his head to see if that will help growth.

Observation: I’m bummed out. If Mr. Lower Back was being picked for playground sports, he’d be picked last.  Sorry for such a bad photo. My camera broke and I had to use my other broken camera. I will buy a new camera tomorrow; hopefully that will encourage Mr. Lower Back to grow hair. I’m going to change his name to Mr Ear Hair, if he doesn’t smarten  up.

Week Three: water level visibly lower, visible growth.

I go away for almost a week and Mr. Lower Back hasn’t done too too much. 2 new hairs, but still none on his head. He must be going for the fringe development look.

Observation: Maybe if I go away for a month, he’ll get his act together.

Day Fourteen: visible growth, water level unchanged.

What can I say? I don’t think Mr. Lower Back is really cut out for this hair growing business.

Observation: I’m getting tired of taking photos of him everyday. I will add a new photo and progress report once a week from now on. Stay tuned!

Next update: May 4th (if I remember)

Day Thirteen: visible growth, water level lower.

I didn’t expect the hair to grow in such a funny place. He has 2 long strands, but they don’t make him look cool or cute :(  He looks proud of them though; I don’t want to hurt his feelings, so I put on my smiley face when I take his picture.

Observation: Hopefully the next hair come on his head!

Day Twelve: visible growth, water level visibly lower.

I’ve decided to put the most recent day on the top of this page instead of the bottom. I think people don’t want to scroll down; I know I don’t like to (I’ll cut and paste the other entries when I have time; I’m anal that way) 2 hairs today, but neither are where they should be growing. Nothing on the top of the head: preferred hair growing area. I must have bought the one made just before a Thai holiday. Where is inspector 37 when you need her (or him).

Observation: Maybe Mr. Lower Back will grow a beard and mustache too!

 

 

Day Eleven: visible growth, water level visibly lower.

A hair! A single hair! Finally. I came home not expecting anything and voila! One single, short, itty bitty, shute of grass! Way to go Mr. Lower Back! It’s not on his head, but it’s a start. Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Observation: I gotten way too excited about this.

 

 

Day Ten: No visible growth, water level unchanged.

Mr. Lower Back better start growing some hair soon or I’m going to get mad! Aaargh! Of all the ones on the shelf, I had to buy the slow one. I bet there are a lot of people out there who were enjoying there hairy Hair Labos after 5 days! Come on already!

Observation: Patience didn’t work. Time for alternative methods.

  

 

Day Nine: no visible growth, water level a little lower.

I remain optimistic that Mr. Lower Back is going to do big things. I’m sure I will  wake up tomorrow morning and he will look like Don King, or at least like my chin with a days growth. I can dream can’t I?

Observation: The Mr. Lower Back Experiment is a waiting game: like watching paint dry or snow melting.

 

 

Day Eight: no visible growth, water level unchanged.

I think I’m putting to much pressure on Mr. Lower Back. I’ll have to lighten up; maybe watch a hockey game over a few beers with him. Maybe that will get his mind off this hair growing business.

Observation: If he doesn’t grow hair, I will love him anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

Day Seven: no visible growth, water level lower.

It’s been one week and nothing is happening yet. If the package tells the truth, I will see some growth in the next 5 days. It’s been a wild ride so far!

Observation: I really need a steady girlfriend or more channels on the TV.

 

 

Day 6: no visible growth, water level unchanged.

I’ve decided to be an optimist and have pulled out my lawn mower in preparation for the abnormal abundancy of growth to come. I predict big things from Mr. Lower Back. I’m sure a few weeks from now he will be a serious hippie longhair listening to my Woodstock album and sucking on the bong when I get home from work.

Observation: In his chin area, he is starting to become a bit moist; similar to me when I think about spare ribs (I don’t think it’s drool though).

 

 

Day 5: no visible growth,  water level unchanged.

Mr. Lower Back is just sitting there doing nothing. No stubble, no single sprout of green, no nothing :(  But I have to remain calm.  I’m thinking about taking him to a barber, so he knows how nice they are. Perhaps the sight of the lollipop he will receive after his first haircut will encourage him.

Observation: I am not a patient person. I want to see instant results. I also forgot my camera at work yesterday, so I’m not expecting any big results on Day 6 either.

 

Day Four: no visible growth, water level visibly lower.

Looking at Mr. Lower Back, he reminds me of the Borg Queen in the 2nd Star Trek Next Generation movie. The part where Data wastes her and she is just a head and spinal column. Mr. Lower Back is just a head and a string. I wish he would grow legs as well, so he could fill up his own glass jar.

 Observation: I should have looked at my previous day’s observations about taking pictures in the day time.

 

 

Day Three: no visible growth, water level visibly lower.

I’ve decided to change it’s name from John to Lower Back because:

a) this Labo should grow  (faux) hair sooner or later.

b) my friend John will not grow hair sooner or later.

c) my lower back used to be hairless, but then it began to grow hair.

 Observation: I should take pictures of Mr. Lower Back before I go to work because the light is better.

 

 

Day Two: no visible growth, water level unchanged.

I have decided to call it John, because my friend John has no hair either.

Observation: watching it does not help growth; neither does leering, glancing, or peripheral vision unobserved viewing. 

 

 

 

Day One: Removed from package, added water, and congratulated myself on being such a scientist/gardener.