Bicycle Seats

 

Is it just my ass, or are bicycle seats extremely uncomfortable?

Has anyone improved the seat?     No way!    They make padded bicycle shorts instead!

I may be way off here, but isn’t that like making pajamas better instead of making beds better?

I’m just wondering.

 

note: Is Lance Armstrong a “spokesperson”?

double note: Are unicycle shorts unisex?

triple note: photo from here.

 

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Rain

 

When I’m out in the rain without an umbrella, I like to walk normally and pretend it’s not raining.

While others do the “panicky hunched over in a half-run” maneuver, I calmly walk upright as if the rain has no affect on me.

I feel a bit more dignified doing this.

I also get completely soaked; but dignity has its price.

 

note: anything that can stop a baseball game is fine with me.

double note: planetross is not anti-pro-baseball.

triple note: the above festival goer in Tokyo is trash.

 

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Puddles

Is driving through puddles in a car just a natural progression from jumping in puddles as a kid?

It must be very anti-climatic at the wheelchair stage.

 

note: sidewalk tsunami victim in the rear-view mirror! hee hee!

double note: I think the unseasonable raininess here has precipitated this idea (and the next one).

 

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The White Rabbit

 

When you see a white rabbit, it’s usually just a white rabbit.

Don’t be thinking you are Alice in Wonderland or in The Matrix or something.

 

note: If you see a white rabbit flying an iron, well that’s a different story all together.

 

double note: I’m waiting for “Jefferson Wormhole Technology” to come out with a new Cd. 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Little Challenges

I’ve become a little lazy lately. I need a little project to challenge me.

Nothing too difficult; maybe I’ll try being right-handed instead of left-handed.

 

note: if this works out, I might try to become Chinese or double jointed next.

double note: after looking at my printing, maybe I should just focus on improving my left-handedness.

triple note: people who are “hands-be-dexterous” probably don’t use either side of their brain very well.

 

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Yes, I Did Make The Bed

“You made your bed now lie in it!”

I think I intended to do that when I made it. It’s called a plan of action.

 

You made your dinner now eat it.      Okay

You washed your clothes now wear them.      Okay

You started the car now drive it.        Okay

You bought the beer now drink it.     Okay

You try it; it’s fun!

You _____ the _____ now _____ it.     Okay

 

note: I hope The Little Red Hen and her chicks got nice and fat from eating all that bread. mmm chicken. 

double note: sorry about the last comment. I went off on a tangent there; I don’t usually do that. hmmm triangles.

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In The Kitchen

The people in charge of naming kitchen stuff are either not very imaginative or else think people are stupid.

They seem to state the obvious:

ice cream scoop        soup bowl
potato peeler             tea spoon
butter knife               ice pick
lobster fork               coffee cup
dinner plate               salad tongs
frying pan                  sugar bowl
drinking glass           salt shaker
pizza cutter               rolling pin

I’m glad they aren’t in charge of naming other stuff:

driving car     money wallet     coloring crayon     hand pen     communication phone     cutting scissors

 

note: I’m all for “dundancy” and against “redundancy“. To reiterate, I am “anti-superfluous” and “pro- regularfluous”.

double note: if you hang knives and forks on a christmas tree are they “utinsels“?

triple note: if you hang knives and forks on a christmas tree are you cutting edge or just forked?

quadruple note: image from here.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Confetti

If “confetti” is just little circular pieces of paper, then does a paper-shredder produce “conspaghetti”?

 

note: metal confetti would be a lot easier to throw … and it’s reusable too!

Save the Earth and all that stuff, you know.

double note: image from here.

triple note: the singular of confetti is “confetto” (seriously). I brought my confetto for the wedding; aren’t they going to be surprised!!

 

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Barriers

 

The “sound barrier” was broken a long time ago, but what about the  other barriers:

“sight barrier“, “touch barrier“, “taste barrier“, and “smell barrier“?

Those ones must be the difficult ones to break!

 

note: I wish someone would improve the smell barrier.

double note: juice companies always claim their products “taste berrier“, but I think that’s done through squeezing more than breaking.

triple note: one barrier that shouldn’t be broken is the “Great Barrier“.

quadruple note: image from here.

quintuple note: I thought this was a pretty cool photo as well.

 

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Kidney Stones

 

 

If kidney stones are the result of not using your kidneys enough, can this happen in other parts of your body as well?

Because a lot of people have rocks in their heads.

 

note: kidney stones are usually not related to not using your kidneys enough. It’s just a long held misconception of mine.

double note: If “kidney” beans are good for the kidneys; then I’m loading up on “pork n’” beans.

triple note: stay away from those gall beans.

quadruple note: Mr. Bean is full of … you know.

quintuple note: image from here. It’s not related to anything, just not too many nice kidney stone images.

 

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