Bicycle Seats

 

Is it just my ass, or are bicycle seats extremely uncomfortable?

Has anyone improved the seat?     No way!    They make padded bicycle shorts instead!

I may be way off here, but isn’t that like making pajamas better instead of making beds better?

I’m just wondering.

 

note: Is Lance Armstrong a “spokesperson”?

double note: Are unicycle shorts unisex?

triple note: photo from here.

 

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Neighbours

The little house next to mine has been rented again.

A moving van came and unloaded a bunch of stuff. I couldn’t see too much from my front window, that I was standing at anyway.

I saw a little bit more from my bathroom window; but I started to cramp up from standing on the toilet, hunching over to see out the window, and twisting my neck at an extreme angle.

Most things were in boxes anyway. Why aren’t there see through boxes? It would make it easier to see what’s in them.

After everyone left, I walked over to the house because I had something to do over that way for some reason. They had already started to unpack; at least the curtains anyway.
The curtains are the right size and pretty thick; I couldn’t see anything else.

I hope the new neighbours are better than the last ones: they were a bit nosey.

 

note: I’m turning in to my mother.

double note: Mr. Nosey image from here.

 

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Rain

 

When I’m out in the rain without an umbrella, I like to walk normally and pretend it’s not raining.

While others do the “panicky hunched over in a half-run” maneuver, I calmly walk upright as if the rain has no affect on me.

I feel a bit more dignified doing this.

I also get completely soaked; but dignity has its price.

 

note: anything that can stop a baseball game is fine with me.

double note: planetross is not anti-pro-baseball.

triple note: the above festival goer in Tokyo is trash.

 

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Puddles

Is driving through puddles in a car just a natural progression from jumping in puddles as a kid?

It must be very anti-climatic at the wheelchair stage.

 

note: sidewalk tsunami victim in the rear-view mirror! hee hee!

double note: I think the unseasonable raininess here has precipitated this idea (and the next one).

 

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The White Rabbit

 

When you see a white rabbit, it’s usually just a white rabbit.

Don’t be thinking you are Alice in Wonderland or in The Matrix or something.

 

note: If you see a white rabbit flying an iron, well that’s a different story all together.

 

double note: I’m waiting for “Jefferson Wormhole Technology” to come out with a new Cd. 

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Little Challenges

I’ve become a little lazy lately. I need a little project to challenge me.

Nothing too difficult; maybe I’ll try being right-handed instead of left-handed.

 

note: if this works out, I might try to become Chinese or double jointed next.

double note: after looking at my printing, maybe I should just focus on improving my left-handedness.

triple note: people who are “hands-be-dexterous” probably don’t use either side of their brain very well.

 

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In The Kitchen

The people in charge of naming kitchen stuff are either not very imaginative or else think people are stupid.

They seem to state the obvious:

ice cream scoop        soup bowl
potato peeler             tea spoon
butter knife               ice pick
lobster fork               coffee cup
dinner plate               salad tongs
frying pan                  sugar bowl
drinking glass           salt shaker
pizza cutter               rolling pin

I’m glad they aren’t in charge of naming other stuff:

driving car     money wallet     coloring crayon     hand pen     communication phone     cutting scissors

 

note: I’m all for “dundancy” and against “redundancy“. To reiterate, I am “anti-superfluous” and “pro- regularfluous”.

double note: if you hang knives and forks on a christmas tree are they “utinsels“?

triple note: if you hang knives and forks on a christmas tree are you cutting edge or just forked?

quadruple note: image from here.

 

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Random “Ball Sport” Questions

1. Were the rules, playing fields, and spectator areas for sports with slightly expensive balls designed to  keep the fans from stealing them?      (soccer, football, rugby, basketball, and even Aussie rules)
Every time that net gets hoisted behind the uprights in football, it is saying “We do not trust you“.

2. Are baseball and cricket the only sports where the best thing to happen is for the ball to go out of play?
            Home Run!  Yeah!              A 6!  Hoorah! Bully!

3. Are volleyball and tennis the only ball sports where the ball going in to the net is a bad thing?

4. Is golf the only ball sport where the ball is never out of play?
    This sounds like “empty lot kids’ ball game rules” to me.
    Golf balls are cheap too! Who invented this game?

 

note: planetross prefers ball sports with pucks and rocks.

double note: photo from here.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

3D

Are you tired of movies with linear plots and 2 dimensional characters?

Then you need 3D contact lenses!

They make the most painfully boring movie a major spectacle … but without the spectacles.

How do they do it? I don’t know, but I’m sure drugs and mind control are involved!

 

note: sure you could probably watch 3D movies with them too.

double note: take the 3D lenses out at a 5th Dimension concert or you won’t see Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr..

triple note: Aquarius/Let the Sunshine makes my arms fly out from my sides and spin every time.

quadruple note: image from here. But the page is selling stuff. You’ve been warned.

quintuple note: Sponge Bob in 3D …. glasses.

 

 

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Dental Floss

 

 

If dental floss gets stuck between your teeth, what do you use to get it out; more dental floss?

It would be great if this was the solution for all problems:

- Have a flat tire … make it flatter … good as new!

- Drank too much … drink more … sober in no time!

- Lost money gambling … lose more … jackpot!

- Burnt your dinner … burn it more … mmm delicious!

 

note: Don’t like this blog … don’t like it more … ah! that’s better!

double note: funny dental humor here.

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