Wickedy Whacks

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All lit candles smell the same to me,

… they have a singed eyebrows sort of odor.

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note: candles are wicked.

double note: most people can’t hold a candle to me … unless it’s unlit … then it’s okay.

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what I’m listening to now #53: water running without legs.

Out With The Older, In With The Newer

 

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Goodbye 20 year old old van.
Hello 10 year old new van.

Hello power steering, airbags, CD player, automatic windows, automatic door locks, and much improved gas mileage.

I can’t wait to see what incredible improvements are in  the brand new vans!
I’ll find out in another 10 years, I guess.

… maybe they can fly!!!

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note: “the best things in life are free” … like my old van.
I hope the new one will be “the second best things in life” … even though
there’s only one of it … I’m hoping it’s at least twice as good!

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what I’m listening to now #52: Crowded House “Weather With You“.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream!

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It’s  always à la mode

… never Jesus mode, Buddha mode, Jehovah mode, Yahweh mode, ...

I guess Islam just scooped the others on this one.

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note: remaining non-convertible helps me … especially when it’s raining.

double note: I’m ligious … I ain’t doing that stuff twice!

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what I’m listening to now #51: sausages frying.

something I’d forgotten: http://youtu.be/7rK3s_BP9kE

Some Bloom To Reathe

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I prefer blossoming to blooming

… unless it involves quasi-swearing.

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note: Mother Nature probably drives a bloomstick.

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what I’m listening to now #50: Nada Surf‘s “When I Was Young“.

Button

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Did I press the button?
I think I pressed the button … I think.
If I didn’t press the button, that would be bad.
I wouldn’t like that. It would put me behind schedule.
The button was probably pressed, but I better make sure.
Please, please, please let me have pressed the button!!!

I sure hope I pressed the button.

Yes! I pressed the button.

I’m sure glad I have a rice cooker instead of cooking rice in a regular pot that I have to watch.

It’s a lot less stressful.

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note: I like most buttons, but not red buttons … except for Red Buttons.

double note: when I iron I never press buttons … I navigate around them.

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what I’m listening to now # 49: definitely not reason.

Humanity Gritty

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I wonder what “arty souvenir evolution erasers” will look like in

400 million years.

… a bit longer I suppose

… and maybe more expensive.

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note: erasers don’t work for most of my mistakes.

double note: crocodiles and alligators are pretty lazy.

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what I’m listening to now #48: Fatboy Slim “Right Here, Right Now“.

Cherry Cherry Coloured Chairs

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I found a “bottomless pit” in a cherry once!

Maybe I swallowed the topless part by mistake

… but someone else could have done it on purpose.

I’m never sure about stuff like this or that.

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note: How do you make a chair chairier? … put a cherry on it!
… although chairs are chairier than most things … that aren’t chairs.

double note: what’s at the bottom of a bottomless pit? I hope it’s not the same thing as what’s at the top of a topless pit … because I don’t want to see that again!

triple note: it’s always a bottomless pit! … never a bottomless hole, a bottomless dent, a bottomless crack, …

quadruple note: being the “Chairman” of a chair company must be something.

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what I’m listening to now #47: Kids in the Hall “Painting a Chair“.

Plot Summary

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I’m growing vegetables this year.

Not full scale, but half scale:
… the vegetables will be ordinary size hopefully, it’s just …

I’m using a small piece of a friend’s garden plot … I guess mine is a subplot.
… but that’s another story.

If I can farm then I will be a farmer.
And if I can farm really well maybe one day I will be the farmest!

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note: nature vs. nurture? … I think growing things is a case where both work together.

double note: what comes around grows around.

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what I’m listening to now #46: Peter Gabriel “Digging in the Dirt“.

The Other Side Effects

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A side effect of a side effect must be a “besides effect”.

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note: there are B-side effects on albums, but not on CDs … I don’t know why!

double note: new side effects to having sex are being born daily!

triple note: recreational sex and procreational sex are the same thing in theory, … some people just take things a little too personally … or want a little person … or something like that.

quadruple note: most decisions are dicey at the casino or on board game or a yahtzee place …. or at vegetable slicing venues.

quintuple note: rolling dice don’t have side effects … it’s just when they stop and lay there that things get probably good or bad.

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what I’m listening to now #45: the end to “The Shawshank Redemption“.

Nothing In Particlecular … Or Let’s Get Physicscal

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When people ask me “What’s the matter?”

I usually reply,

… “I don’t know, but it has mass and occupies space.”

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note: sometimes I say “fecal“.

double note: everything is just a matter of time … unless it’s a matter of space.

triple note: when people space-out I usually give them a time-out.

quadruple note: “spacetime” makes me think of awkward questions that I don’t want to answer.

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what I’m listening to now #44: XTC “Making Plans for Nigel“.