I went to a bicycle shop with Mr. Pettit today. He is a cyclist: it’s one of his passions/hobbies.
Me? What’s my passion/hobby?
I collect thoughts, phrases, ideas, and other things requiring little space.
I don’t need a space ship … a space shoebox will do.
note: I don’t need a bicycle either … just a seat is okay.
double note: since Razzbuffnik seems to be on hiatus, here is a band that defines cool … or hip on planetross:
Today I realized that humming in a drum is okay sometimes.
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, hobbies, humor, language, life, music, personal, planetross, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged bicycle seats, bicycles, doing skids, hobbies, humdrum, humming in a drum, humor, humour, ideas, kelly pettit, planetross, razzbuffnik, space ships, space shoe boxes, The Tragically Hip, thoughts, turns of phrase
My friend Mr. Pettit seems to disappear around Christmas each year to visit family in Canada. He always brings me back something.
This year he brought back a pig lighter for me … and other things too.
I think I looked less than appreciative and awed when he gave the pig to me. I clicked it a few times and it didn’t work.
I mumbled something. He mumbled something. We moved on.
I put it on the dashboard of my van, looked at it for a few weeks, and continued using a different lighter for lighting cigarettes.
I eventually tried the pig. It seems to work on warm days … kind of like a coconut seller on a tropical beach.
I like the pig! It is awesome! It is me!
Thanks for the pig!
note: if I wasn’t the Cheese, I’d be the Pig!
double note: no one can know you as well as you know yourself, but it’s scary how often other people guess correctly.
Today was pretty good. I can’t ask for more than that sometimes: I’m not greedy.
Posted in comedy, driving, friends, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged coconut sellers, Cool Hand Luke, Devo, humor, humour, I Am The Cheese, I Am The Pig, kelly pettit, Know Thyself ... and other people too!, mumbling, Paul Newman, pig lighters, pigs, Plastic Jesus, souvenirs, tropic beaches
If I had a pet, I’d name it “Peeve”.
It would probably grow into its name.
I’m not really a pet person, … I’m more of a pet person person.
note: if I had 2 pets, I’d name the other one “Padam” … and then have both of them neutered.
Today my pencil was not very subtle … I had to sharpen it.
Posted in comedy, dogs, friends, funny, humor, language, life, personal, pets, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged Adam and Eve, blunt pencils, Boston Terrier, dogs, humor, I'm a pet person person!, kelly pettit, neutered, not very subtle pencils, Padam and Peeve, passing aquaintances ... usually gassy too!, pet peeves, pet people's pets, pets
I don’t live alone!
I live with the consequences.
note: now that I think about it … I’ve only ever lived with a guy named Shannon Burger when I was 21! He paid his half of the rent, so that was okay.
double note: people end up living with so many things … and they don’t ever pay their share of the rent!! … people should get rid of those things!
triple note: photo taken by Mr. Pettit. He has a new camera: I was an easy target.
Today unfolded like a nice warm blanket.
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, humor, language, life, personal, photos, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged consequences, humor, kelly pettit, knowledge, living alone, living with people, living with things, remorse, The 3 Bears, warm blankets, with that
I smoke a pack of cigarettes everyday.
I don’t know how many I don’t smoke,
… but it’s probably quite a few.
Surgeon General’s note: I wanted to write novels, but the warnings on cigarette packages was the only thing I was good at.
note: I bet the Surgeon General doesn’t really write those notes. False Advertising!!
Today I thought about the unfairy godmother that seems to be alive and well … and messing with all sorts of people who aren’t me.
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, humor, language, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged cigarettes, does the surgeon general get royalties from every pack sold?, goodluck, humor, I'm a surgeon private ... possibly, life is short brutal and nasty, life is unfair, Mister Sagara, non-smokers with cancer, slippery slopes, surgeon general, surgeon generalities, unfair, unfairy godmotherf**ker
Being a co-songwriter is like being a copilot: I could do it by myself … but I don’t know how to play the guitar or fly a plane.
note: I’ve been busy hanging out with Mr. Pettit … more than usual … as he prepares for a 5th trip to a recording studio. He’s left for Australia, so I’m back to being a coagulator again.
double note: it’s been like a bad Christmas recently … a serious lack of presence.
notes to myself #85
They stop making Herbie The Love Bug movies … at least the really good ones.
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, humor, language, life, music, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged co-songwriting, coagulating, copilots, guitars and planes, Herbie the Love Bug, humor, kelly pettit
Why am I nice to children?
… because most of them will grow up and want to kick my ass if I’m not.
note: Osgood-Schlatter Syndrome or bone growth below the knees are speed bumps.
I have a few bumps on my head from mental growth … possibly.
double note: those pictures look like an old milk advertisement: Milk does a body good!
triple note: maybe I’ve just gotten considerably smaller in the last 4 years.
quadruple note: everyone changes but I remain the same.
quintuple note: I probably could find a photo of the two of us 8 years ago, but I’m lazy.
At 16 he must still be growing.
notes to myself #25
You will be 12 years old before you can pin your sister on the floor and torture her with long drools that almost touch her face.
It only happens once and then she looses interest in this competition for some reason.
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged be nice to children, being the bench mark, drooly drooly drooly, future ass kickings, growth, humor, kids get bigger, knee bumps, losing interest, milk does a body good, osgood-schlatter syndrome, pinned and helpless, pinning siblings to the floor, shrinking by degree, students who don't quit, that's just gross!, top of the charts
Paperclips are trivial and go unnoticed by most people.
You can live your whole life without needing one.
What do paperclips do?
They hold stuff together that would otherwise just get scattered around, misplaced or lost.
Paperclips are like that one friend or family member that keeps in touch with everyone and lets you know what everyone else is doing.
They keep people from getting scattered around, misplaced, or lost.
They are essential and deserve to be noticed more.
You can’t really live a whole life without needing one.
Those individuals should be called “Peopleclips”.
note: pretty snazzy paperclips eh!
Posted in comedy, family, friends, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged essential, humor, lost stuff, paperclips, peopleclips, scattered stuff, staple friends and family, trivial