I Am The Cheese

I’ve just realized that I am an aquarium junkie.

I’ve visited 4 different aquariums in the last year; one of them twice!

After what I’ve written earlier about Animals in Zoos,  http://planetross.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/animal-penal-system/

 I think I am a hypocrite. 

I guess I don’t feel the same way about fish as I do about animals. I do feel sorry for all non-fish creatures at aquariums: I hope that redeems me somehow. Even that is hard; those dolphins and sea lions always look so damn happy during the shows.

But the fish… I have no sympathy. I guess I’m heartless. I like to rationalize it by thinking it’s better to be in an aquarium tank than in a restaurant tank or a fisherman’s net.

For the record: there are no sashimi/sushi restaurants at aquariums in Japan. Japanese people have their limits I guess.

I’m not a pet person, but at a local festival I ended up taking home a goldfish someone else had won. I put it in my biggest glass bowl, bought some fish food for it, and was getting all attached to the little bugger. Then it died.

I think it died of happiness; but I could be wrong.

So what do you do with a dead goldfish? I flushed it down the toilet: returning it from whence it came.

I told my Japanese co-worker this and she thought I was strange. I gave her the “returning it from whence it came” argument, but that didn’t work.

She said since it was a pet, I should have buried it.

I think I need to go to a Fish Sensitivity Counselling Seminar.

note: I hope they have fish and chips for lunch.

There is something about ghost towns that I like.

They are failures in the longevity department, but somehow that’s part of their appeal. Visiting a ghost town is like seeing someone wearing a California Golden Seals hockey jersey: it’s sad and cool at the same time.

Whatever first attracted people to an area dried up, ran out, disappeared, or failed. The people moved on like Nomads or Bedouins, but they couldn’t take their permanent tents with them.

Drive-In movie theatres remind me of ghost towns. Something from the past that left visible remains on the landscape. Just a big area with a falling down screen; a few hundred metal posts sticking out of the ground at regular intervals; and a dilapitated building in the middle, that used to sell tubs of popcorn and housed the projector.

It looks like the Drive-In movie people forgot to take their tent poles with them.

note: I’m off on holidays. I’ll be back on May 4th. If you break into my house, can you water my plants for me. 

People love watching trees in Japan.

In April, it’s cherry blossom viewing. Everyone and their dog go and sit on blue tarps under cherry trees and drink heavily. I do it too, but I usually watch the women who are watching the trees.

In October, it’s Kouyo: the changing of the leaves. People always ask me what the word for Kouyo is in English. They usually seem disappointed when I say, ” the changing of the leaves”. I think they expect some great one word answer.

Tour buses haul people around the countryside in April and October. It’s a big business.

I like both these times of year, but I’m more of a root person. My sister is too.

When we have travelled together, we point out interesting roots to each other, take photos, and have little discussions over the merits of our discoveries. We know a good root when we see it.

Trees have their seasons, but roots are all year round fun.

I’m amazed at how many single shoes I see lying on the sides of the road.

Usually they are running shoes. I haven’t seen any pumps, gumboots or sandals.

My first thought is usually that someone must have been hit by a car, but I don’t think there are that many people getting hit by cars. And the police would probably pick up any shoes as evidence anyway.

Are people throwing shoes out of their car windows?

In Australia myself and a few others were in a National Park following a river that cut through a canyon. We walked beside the river where we could and swam certain sections where we couldn’t walk.

We found a sandal on a rock, and about 30 minutes later we found its partner. My friend picked up both and wore them for the rest of his Australia trip. He probably still has them. They were nice sandals.

We called them his Dead Man Sandals.

Supposedly somewhere in Africa an Aid Agency was distributing clothing and shoes. The local people wore the clothes, but they didn’t wear the shoes.

They thought the shoes must have been from dead people, as no one would just give away such nice shoes. 

 A friend of mine worked in a Daycare/English playtime centre for a year, and as part of his job he accompanied/assisted children using the bathroom.

He casually mentioned this phenomenon to me one day, to which I told him he was pulling my leg and I wasn’t that gullible.

He insisted it was true, and I kept a doubtful expression on my face until I could check the internet.

Why couldn’t I have some cool birthmark like that?

I just have a regular white ass.

note to self:  buy some pool chalk.

There are some pretty famous walls in the world: The Great Wall of China, The Wailing Wall, The Berlin Wall, Hadrian’s Wall, even Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”.

The wall at Kilmainham Gaol, where authorities shot members of the 1916 Uprising, in Dublin is pretty famous too!  (and you can fit in a Guiness tour on the same day, if you are well organized)

There’s a wall on Isabella Island in the Galapagos Islands. It’s not globally famous, but it’s historically interesting. Built by convicts: they had to complete so many meters a day. At first it mustn’t have been too difficult; lots of stones nearby. But everyday the prisoners had to go further and further away to collect enough stones to extend the wall by the days required number of meters.

That must have been a bitch!

The wall wasn’t going anywhere special; just a project to work convicts to death.

Fences usually aren’t very famous.

It’s usually what’s inside them that is well known: Area 51 in New Mexico and a few refugee centers in Australia are the only ones I can think of. Fences in the English countryside are a little interesting; they have little steps to get over them, when you are hiking around. Don’t worry the sheep though: that’s a big no-no.

In the animal world, I think fences are more famous than walls: more infamous at least. There are probably a lot of animals, all over the world, grumbling about fences right now.

I’d wager that in the Animal World, Pink Floyd’s “Animals” album is a far better seller than “The Wall” too.

Japanese toilets are great!

They are just regular sit down affairs, but the toilet seat is high tech. Minus an ejector seat or machine gun turrets, if James Bond’s Q made a toilet, it would look like this.

Special Features:

-  heated toilet seat; great in winter.

- a bidet/washlet that sprays water to wash your….. stuff.

- when you sit down the toilet makes a water trickling sound, just in case you need encouragement; or to cover the sound of your own trickling water.

The way the tank fills is pretty cool too. There is a small fountain and basin on the tank lid. When you flush, you can wash your hands with the water that refills the tank. Very water efficient.

If you come to Japan, be sure to use a toilet at least once!

note: that’s not crap on the wall in the photo.

Is there an international agreement about the size and shape of money?

Most countries’ paper money is rectangular and roughly the same size.

It fits in a standard wallet.

If it doesn’t, it’s because of the quantity of notes not the size.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to pay for something with triangular, oval, or octagonal money?

Even square money would be a change.

The wallet industry would probably enjoy a bit of a financial boom, or at the very least it would put a little more creativity into wallet makers’ lives.

note: what came first: money, wallets, or pockets?

Jiffy
definition: short period of time. (origin unknown, circa 18th century)

I know it’s been used before: jiffy marker, jiffy sponge, jiffy pop popcorn.

but

What a cool name for one of those little smart cars!

-Be there in a Jiffy!

-Save money and the environment in a Jiffy!

-Drive to work in a Jiffy!

-Be at the beach in a Jiffy!

Negative Press: He died in a Jiffy.

Bad news, but at least it was in a Jiffy! Not prolonged and drawn out.

note: possible specialized markets:

Alternative Lifestyle People: Spliffy

Women: Miffy or Tiffy

Trendsetters: Spiffy or Niffy-T

double note: rejected names - Iffy, Whiffy, and Siffy

I’ve never been a big fan of sparkling mineral water.

Most places I’ve lived it’s been available, but always hiding on a bottom shelf or huddled with the other random drinks relegated to the fridge seldom opened.

In some countries it’s really popular: part of daily life. That’s fine with me.

In most South American countries, it’s bought as often as regular bottled water.

I got used to it being served with coffee in Argentina. I drank it and enjoyed it; but still would never buy it on purpose.

I only bought it once by mistake.

Extremely hungover I bought two bottles of the stuff.

If you don’t know, sparkling water does not help a hangover.

It doesn’t feel good when you guzzle it.

And personally, I don’t like burping when I’m hungover.

The contents bubbling over when I took the cap off it didn’t help either.

Why do they have it displayed next to the regular water?

Sure it’s water, but there is a night and day difference between sparkling and regular water.

It’s like buying unsweetened baking chocolate instead of a chocolate bar.

You don’t find those things snuggling up to each other on a grocery store shelf.

note: Can you use sparkling water to make instant coffee?

         Can you use it in your car radiator?

         Can you water plants with it?

         If you put it in a hamster’s drink bottle, would you still have a hamster the next day?