I don’t want to be larger than life.
The same size would be fine with me.
note: Did Andy Warhol make a big can opener for the big tomato soup can?
That would have been cool!
double note: my Mother always bought Campbell’s soup … except for tomato soup: she said Heinz tomato soup was better.
triple note: being larger than lifesavers isn’t really that big of a deal.
Today I found another frog hiding in my yard!
Posted in art, comedy, food, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged Andy Warhol, Cambell's, frogs, Heinz, humor, humour, larger than life, life-sized, lifesavers, Tomato soup
Eating a petrified apple is hardcore!
note: I’d like to be a fossil someday, so people would sing about me in that “Do Re Mi Fossil” song.
… and when people asked how I am, I could say, “I’m petrified!, but otherwise fine.“
double note: where I live is famous for apples … and apple trees too!
triple note: I only ever find half worms in apples … they must not be full grown yet.
quadruple note: being petrifried sounds like a bad way to go.
I didn’t make any fatal mistakes today … I used a pencil with a fatal eraser.
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged apples, Do Re Mi Fossil, fatal erasers, fossils, Gunma Prefecture, humor, humour, petrified, petrifried, worms
I felt really foolish sitting in the dentist’s chair with the pink paper bib thing around my neck
… especially after they told me I wasn’t going to get a discount for bringing my own.
note: I like the dentist who does all the tooth drilling and grinding. I figure, either I am a masochist or she’s the only female dentist there.
double note: do not drink blue kool-aid before going to the dentist.
triple note: “teeth and trees are very similar; they both are made of wood.“
(quote from my great-great-grandmother … or someone like that)
Everything has become much clearer to me today: I washed my windows.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged blue kool-aid, dentist bibs, dentists, humor, humour, masochist, no discount, teeth, the dentist :(, toothbrushes, trees, wood
A few seconds, a couple of minutes, and sometimes a happy hour can make for a lifetime
… a very short lifetime, but who’s really counting?
note: if you were a larva before what you are now, expect an early retirement.
double note: I know frogs don’t come from larvae … they come from the rice field across the road.
triple note: this frog watched me pull out my tomato plants, cut the grass, and weed the garden.
I too am like that little green frog … watching my neighbour garden … in my frog costume.
Today smelled a lot like air-freshener.
(I bought a lot of air-freshener today)
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, Japan, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged a lifetime, frogs, humor, humour, rice fields or paddies ... although they don't look Irish, seconds minutes hours just ticking away ... although I have a digital watch
Why are chopsticks a cool gift, but not a single fork?
note: I wish these chopsticks had different names; it’s confusing. I’m not sure which one goes in which hand!
double note: I want a set that are engraved with “this side up“.
I have an alibi for today, but not an alihello.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, Japan, language, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged alibis and alihellos, chopsticks, forks, humor, humour, naming children, presents, this side up
What do you get the person who doesn’t need anything?
note: in lieu of flowers planetross requests chicken wings … so the birds will visit him … in some form or another.
(planetross is always for the birds!)
double note: can you see the chicken wing in the first photo?
Today I thought God must have forgotten about that Genesis “week“ business when he flooded the Earth for 40 days … and that 40 days of Lent stuff. If He was consistent, those things would have been 6 weeks a piece.
(my co-worker thinks I think weird things when I go outside for smokes: hey! it was raining! What else was I supposed to think about?)
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged chicken wings, for the birds, fried offerings ... but not burnt ones, Genesis, GOD, graves, humor, humour, in lieu of flowers, Lent, Noah, pre-Lent is Lend I guess, sacrificing chicken wings, The Great Flood!, What to get the person who has nothing ... anymore ... except eternal happiness ... if you are into that
A 3D-silhouette would be pretty cool!
note: a statue of a statue’s shadow would be cool too!
double note: When is my shadow the shortest? … when I’m pissed off probably!
… that’s usually zenith for me.
Today at the onsen (hotspring bath), I used the grapefruit body soap and the milk based shampoo: my neck curdled.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, sculptures, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged 3D silhouettes, humor, humour, I'm a little hoarse today ... neigh neigh!, my neck curdled!, shadows, silhouettes, statues, zenith
Always have a Jack Handey!
… in case you want to fix a flat tire … or wait around for someone else to fix it.
note: I’ve had this book since 1993 … and I still laugh when I pick it up.
It was one of the only books I brought to Japan along with a few John Irving novels.
Hey! I needed to fill up the backpack somehow! … socks and underwear are boring.
Today I felt so good I had to scream! … and the drive-thru speaker at McDonald’s wasn’t working properly.
Posted in books, comedy, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged Deep Thoughts, Deep Thoughts ... but not very wide, drive-thru speakers, flat tires, handy jack, humor, humour, Jack Handey, John Irving, thoughts ... but not Deep Thoughts
As I pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot, I noticed an unattended car with its lights on.
I sat there for 30 minutes, and not one of the people who arrived after me informed the staff about the car.
People are jerks!
note: why was I in the parking lot? … free parking of course!
double note: no my van wasn’t facing a window.
triple note: I could stare at headlights for hours … or a few seconds, if the car is moving.
Today I had to go into work to retrieve my i-phone charger cord. I realized that work kind of sucks when I’m not there … but a little less than when I have to actually be there. hee hee!
Posted in cars, comedy, funny, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, words
Tagged don't call me deer, drained battery, going into work on my dayoff, headlights, humor, humour, i-phone chargers, parking lots, people are jerks
When I look at these 2 photos*, taken on July 5th and September 2nd, I think …
“I probably won’t be able to see this car by winter!“
note: if hair was like plants, barbers wouldn’t be very busy in the winter.
double note: I’m glad nature isn’t bald.
triple note: I wonder if André The Giant every said, “I’m overgrown.”
quadruple note: possibly Easter is, when it is, because eggs are harder to find in the summer. I could be wrong; I usually am.
quintuple note: if I worked on a chicken farm, everyday would be Easter! … and I’d probably have a funky smell.
* actually I forgot that I’d taken these 2 photos, but I must have known that I’d know they would come in handy someday.
Today I lost weight … it was atomic weight, but it still felt good.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged Andre the Giant, atomic weight, atomic weightloss program, barbers: seasonal workers, chicken farms, Easter, eggs, humor, humour, nature, nature fixes cars ... naturally!