Delayed Rain

 

Driving under bridges in the rain makes me think of … nothing.
It’s quite nice actually.

 

note: driving cars under bridges with rivers under them is for the ferries.

double note: turning the wipers off for a second gives me something to do.

triple note: rain drowns out the noise … and other things: that’s not so good sometimes.

quadruple note: “Hey it stopped raining! … crap it’s just a bridge.”

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notes to myself #53

Do not put Tiger Balm on your upper lip! EVER!!!!

Remembrance Day

 

 

My grandfather came to Canada in 1905 with his father: he was 5 years old.

His father stayed for a while, came to the conclusion that it was too late for him to start over in a new country, and went back to Belgium.

My grandfather was left with a Belgian family farming in Manitoba where he was treated poorly.

He ran away when he was 10 years old.

While walking down the dirt road he eventually came across some other kids speaking a different language and they took him to their home.

He became part of their family; he worked on their farm; and he learned their language.

One day a saleman came to the farm and my grandfather heard the saleman and the farmer discussing business in another language.

My grandfather was curious and asked the farmer what language he had been speaking.

“English” said the farmer.

“Then what the hell am I speaking?“ asked my grandfather.

“Icelandic” replied the farmer.

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note: He signed up with the Canadian Expeditionary Force on Valentine’s Day 1916 and was discharged January 18th, 1919.
His discharge papers say that he was 20 years old and 9 months in 1919, but I think he lied about his age and was really only 15 years old when he joined in 1916.

double note: at the present time there are 10 wars and 32 civil conflicts taking place: http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/war/index.html

triple note: I only knew my grandfather as a person who could make something come alive out of driftwood and burls.

quadruple note: if any family members are reading this … yes I still have grandpa’s discharge papers … and the framed discharge portrait with all the bells and whistles is still stored at brother #2′s place for me one day.

quintuple note: from what I remember he was actually in a trench about 5 km away from where he was born at one time during the war, but didn’t know it.

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notes to myself #52

The burl table you store at your brother’s place eventually gets borrowed by your other brother. It’s probably for the best since I don’t think you’ll be moving back to Canada anytime soon.

Pole Positioning

 

It doesn’t bother me when people on motorcycles sneak up into the pole position at traffic lights: they usually accelerate quickly and are gone.

But …

I’d like to do the same to them just once.

I’m a rebellious thinker like that sometimes.

 

note: if I know there will be some cyclist, mopedalist, or pizza delivery scooter driver trying to muscle in on my pole position with visions of being a Hell’s Angels, I usually try to get as close to the curb as possible.

double note: Is that motorcycle move taught at driving school? … or is it just an unwritten rule of the road? … or something else?

triple note: I bet people with really fast cars get pissed off with motorcyclists for doing this. … I wouldn’t know … I’m just a better.

quadruple note: if a motorcyclist cut in front of me in a movie theatre line up, I probably wouldn’t say anything … because obvious they are a weirdo.

quintuple note: “pole position” … because there is a pole somewhere … I thought there was a “poll” about the fastest being positioned at the front.

sextuple note: I’ve been in the “pole position” at the barbershop on many occasions!

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notes to myself #51

You grow out of a lot of things, but you grow in to a lot of things at the same time … so it’s no big deal really.

Alphabet Soup

 

I once spelled my entire name in a bowl of alphabet soup

… but I had to use a lot of carrots.

 

note: I have one initial in my first name. How many do you have?

double note: initials are like really crappy alphabet soup,
… but without the soup.

triple note: I guess in Japan and China most kids can spell their names in soup, if they throw in enough rice.

quadruple note: I once spelled my name … somewhere … but I’m not very proud about that.

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notes to myself #50

Don’t try to analyze yourself too much … it’s just the way you are wired. You are destined for greatness. I’ll let you know when it happens.

Footprints

 

In day to day life I don’t often notice my footprints.

Probably because I wear shoes most of the time.

Shoeprints could be anyone’s shoeprints.

 

At the beach I’m always fascinated by my footprints.

I think most people are.

They are uniquely yours.

 

Footprints are like personal breadcrumbs showing you where you’ve been.

I guess what I’m trying to say is …

it must suck to be a fish.

 

note: everyone makes copies of their hands with photocopiers … never their feet … it’s a mystery.

double note: I bet most fish don’t know where the hell they are, where they’ve been, or where they are going.  I know some people like that.

triple note: fish don’t have feet because they don’t have shoe stores … probably.

quadruple note: shouldn’t it be “feetprints” … or is this just another of those “toothbrush” scenarios.

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notes to myself #49

Your feet smell for periods of time when you get older. Hey! it’s not my fault!

Fingerprints

 

When there are no fingerprints on a gun at a crime scene

… I guess the police just look for people with no hands.

 

note: my middle fingerprint looks like a smiley face … it’s hard to stay angry when I give “the finger“.

double note: Why are the police so smart on tv?

triple note: pistol makers should make the trigger area bigger, so people can wear gloves while shooting. I’m sure it would be appreciated by people in the winter.

quadruple note: if the trigger area was really big people could even wear mittens!

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notes to myself #48

When you are robbed at gunpoint while working at a gas station and you are debating whether the gun is loaded or not:  it is.

Parenthetical Marks

 

My face just keeps getting more linear every year.

 

note: everything I say is in parentheses now.

double note: I was going to use a smiley photo, but I saw that I had something stuck between my teeth.

triple note: laugh lines are better than punchlines.

quadruple note: I’m living in linear times I guess.

quintuple note: the lines look like parentheses because they come from your parents … or something like that.

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notes to myself #47

You know how Mom used to push up and pull back her facial skin with her fingers and says she might get a facelift. 
You will do the same … and probably never will get one either.

Letting Go

 

Sometimes you just have to let go of things.

It’s time to move on.

There’s no use holding on anymore.

You did what you could.

It’s the circle of life:

to free and be free; to release; to let thing unwind as they should.

Your time together wasn’t meant to last a lifetime.

your part has been played: played well, but it is played out now.

And it’s time to …

JUST LET GO OF THAT STUPID WIND UP TOY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

note: I bet you thought I was talking about relationships … or farts … or something.

double note: the dentist said Lady Chatterly‘s teeth were beyond repair, so I fixed them for good.

 

triple note: sure the photo is blurry … it was like dissecting my best friend: tears do that.

quadruple note: I only made it from “A” to “J“  while expeditioning through the blogroll tonight. It’s tough sometimes: there is too much good stuff out there. “K” to “Z” you are next.

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notes to myself #46

Giving someone an Indian Burn becomes politically incorrect, but you can still do it … just give it another name.

Not Inconsequential Ordering

 

People who eat dessert first because they like it the best have no anticipatience.

 

 note: eating dessert first by rationalizing that you could die before the end of the meal is kind of pessimistic.

double note: on Planetross you can order whatever you like first, but you’re still going to get it in the same bag at the drive-thru window.

triple note: yes, I actually wrote “drive-thru” window. I can’t believe it either!

quadruple note: I should install a drive through window at my house. I wouldn’t have to clean up when people came to visit: how convenient!

quintuple note: on Planetross everyone chews everything 32 times: even ice cream.
… the ice cream isn’t very good really.

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notes to myself #45

When you go to Osoyoos for summer vacation as a kid, you will discover something amazingly delicious: licorice ice cream.
… and it gives you a cool black tongue too!!!!

Where Am I?

 

People usually can’t think straight when they have a cold.

On Planetross it’s the opposite: I can’t think in my regular round about way.

I’ll be back shortly.

 

note: I think I’m clairabouyant … I see a bath in my future.

double note: the photo is the view from the hotel window on my recent “business trip”. I some how feel like that at the moment.

triple note: being sick is like being a secret agent: it’s all undercover.

quadruple note: thanks for stopping in while I was a way.

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notes to myself #44

 Always pack tissue packages … not actually pack them! … just carry them around just in case.