Dates Give Me Diarrhea

 

Why is January 1st New Year’s Day?

It’s not the summer or winter solstice.

It’s not the vernal or autumnal equinox.

It’s not a big religiously important day … as far as I know.

It’s a regular day with no special significance.

Do you know why it was picked as the start of the New Year?

It’s because some Pope just decided it.

… I bet it was the bastard’s birthday!

Does New Year’s Day really have to start on the first of any month?

What’s the difference?

 

note: I’d pick the first day of spring like it was in the Middle Ages … or my birthday.

double note: The Chinese New Year makes a lot more sense to me now … except for that dragon stuff.

triple note: people could have 2 New Year’s Days: one for the Northern Hemisphere and one for the Southern Hemisphere. Who cares really? … extra days off of work too!

quadruple note: If you think I’m picking on the Catholic Church, I’ll pick on Science instead: one word  … “Pluto“.

quintuple note: It’s amazing what people accept as “the way it is” because that’s just “the way it has been” for a while.

sextuple note: People living way way up North would probably vote against the summer solstice as New Year’s Day because … they wouldn’t be able to see their fireworks.

septuple note: 

… and don’t get me started on what the first day of the week is!!!

 

octuple note: from ask jeeves or ask … as it likes to be known now.

Among the ancient peoples, New Year’s Day was traditionally celebrated in conjunction with the vernal or autumnal equinox or the summer or winter solstice. In the Middle Ages it was set at the vernal equinox in the northern hemisphere, usually on March 25.

The Gregorian calendar, which is widely in use throughout the western world today, was initially decreed by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. January 1 was declared as the first day of the new year on 1 January 1622.

 

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Arms And Legs

 

People are very attached to arms and legs, but what if their names were switched.

Would there be …

Kids playing with Armo

Arm warmers and armings

Governments passing Armislation

Peg Arms

A movement to armalize marijuana

People in court alarming stuff

Alarmories in stories

Armhold traps

A French Foreign Armion

An “ABW” in cricket

Armolas in “The Lord of the Rings”

3 armed races

A ”Pledge of Alarmiance” in the U.S.

The term alarmro in music

A  ZZ Top song called “Arms”
“she’s got arms
and she knows how to use them“

… or a Rod Stewart one named ”Hot Arms”

“Open Legs” by Journey or “Brothers in Legs” from Dire Straits

A blegaid pouring my beer

Legged guards for legored vehicles

Legani suits

Legadillos

Neil Legstrong or Lance Legstrong

Fire Allegs

Flegers growing stuff

Legies and Legistices

Plegesan cheese or Plegigiano Reggiano for people who know more about cheese than me … or I … or myself

Legpits

One Legged Bandits

a Spanish Legada

Blegitzvahs

Swlegs of bees

or

A cult following for “Legy of Darkness”?

 

note: I guess arm and leg wrestling would still be similar … and possibly 4 arms on a legchair would be quite normal.

Leg bands and Arm bands would mess a lot of people and birds up though.

double note: if you don’t like this entry, you will definitely not like Salt And Pepper … and may be mildly antagonistic towards It’s Tuesday I’m In Love.

 

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Drabs And Dribs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

note: just a reminder to put the cursor over the pictures for more insight … or less outsight … or something like that.

double note: squid really does taste twice as good on a stick … unless you’re a squid or something.

triple note: I feel lighter now that I have deposited these stray photos somewhere.
… I guess I should read the mamera canual and find out how to phelete dotos.

 

 

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Chasing Waves

 

I will not listen to all the negative people saying my goals are unachievable!

I will continue to chase waves.

… if I just sit around doing nothing, I’ll never catch one!

 

note: I guess all those people who waited around and caught waves were just lucky or something. 

double note: it’s pretty incredible that Papillon managed to escape from Devil’s Island by riding that one big wave out into the ocean on a raft of coconuts!  … especially with that money holder up his ass!

triple note: it’s always big breaks on the horizon.

 

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Fish And Waterfalls Or Falls And Waterfish

 

Fish must really hate waterfalls.

If they survive, it’s probably like waking up in a different country.

 

note: I’m not sure if fishing at the bottom of a waterfall is a good idea or not. Fishing at the top would be better: the fish would probably want to grab on to anything they could to save them … for the frying pan.

double note:

FISH SHTICK

- “GeroNemo!”

- “It was like the world dropping out from all around me!”

- The situation rapidly declined.

- “I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.”

- “That scared the eggs out of me!”

- Death happened rapidly … or more than rapidly.

- “That long drop was shitty.”

triple note: from what I could find on the internet about “fish and waterfalls”, it seems fish usually survive better than humans … but some waterfalls are deadly to both.

quadruple note: if the sea stopped moving, I bet that would be the equivalent to an earthquake in the fish world.

“the sea didn’t care anymore and stopped waving“

 

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One – Nothing

I have something to show you. No, this isn’t it.

No. That’s not it either. Just hang on a second.

Did you see it? No?

PUNCH BUGGY!!!

 

note: some people play “Peanut”, but they’re just pacifists … or have no arms … or something like that.

double note: a “pacifist fight” is pretty lame.

 

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FM Radio Play Only

 

My life is a song.

Please refrain by spitting off the bridge.

 

note: I need to change my chords … the grooves are all worn out on these ones.

double note: verses! … mine are all the same … I’m living in a regular universe.

 

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I’m Awfully Glad I’m a Beta!

 

“Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they’re so frightfully clever. I’m awfully glad I’m a Beta and wear a red hat, because I don’t work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don’t want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They’re too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color … unless it’s a skirt. I’m so glad I’m a Beta and wear a red hat. Have I mentioned that I wear a red hat? I do! … and it’s a very nice red.“
- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 2
-planetross, bastardizing the classics, Ch. ?

 

note: a possible Epsilon in our midst!

 

 double note: I’ve put on 2 entries tonight. I’m bored and it’s raining. Okay … I’m not really bored … but it is raining heavily.
… and that “I’ll Be Bark” entry was a bit of a dog.

triple note: Wow! I really got very personal and in-depth with that “double note“! I think I’ve exposed myself! I’m listening to Fleetwood Mac too! … now I’ve done it!

 

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Knee Deep In Thought

 

I’m vacant lots of the time.

 

note: I’m staring aimfully … unless I start snoring … then I’m just sleeping with my eyes open.

double note: I thought they had a  job vagrancy that needed to be filled.

triple note: overheard at Calvary 

“Sure. I draw lots! … but I can only draw stickmen.“

quadruple note: I’m not sure where that “triple note” came from. I may be having flashbacks of a WWI Poets poetry course I took at university. Hey! it was worth a few credits … and mandatory.

quintuple note: I’m like paper towel: self-absorbant.

 

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I’ll Be Bark!

 

The Terminator has a dog?
How unbelievable is that?

That’s just so phoney!

Everyone knows the Terminator loves cats!

 

note: it must be a SkyeNet Terrier

double note: I had to research that first “note“. Do I win a prize?

triple note: I was interviewed by Prairie Flounder  over at
Sky Fishing. If you’re interested … or not … check out his cool blog. 

quadruple note: the interview link is the “interested” one.

 

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