Monthly Archives: February 2009

If I Had 3 Eyes, …

 little green man wind-up

 

If I had 3 eyes, …

I’d probably wear a hat instead of sunglasses.

I’d hope one eye was blind so I could wear an eye patch.

“trinocular vision” might be difficult to get used to.

I’d hope one wasn’t on my ass … because then I’d have to cut a little hole in my pants to see anything.

would people call me 6 eyes if I wore glasses?

eye tests would be interesting!

I’d probably get sick of  the “little green men” costume on Halloween.

I might say “See you later … and later … and later” just for fun.

I’d yell “Come on ref! Do you only have 2 eyes or something!” at sporting events.

I could have a lucrative career as an actor … in horror movies.

I’d probably have to tell people, “No I don’t have eyes in the back of my head; just 3 up front”.

binoculars would be a bitch, but telescopes would be no problem.

I’d have bags under all 3 of them probably.

I’d hope they were all the same color.

if the 3rd one was on my ass I’d hope it didn’t have an eyebrow too … because that could get itchy.

I’d be an open target for that 3 Stooges “eye poke” routine.

I might sell one on e-bay if times got hard.

I bet my nickname at school would be “Eye Soceles” or maybe just “Triangle”.

I’d hope my eyelids blinked at the same time!

 

note: If I met someone with 4 eyes, I’d be envious.

 

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A Coincident

M.C. Escher Coin Bank

The vending machine only took coins and I found the exact change in my pocket.

It was all very “coincidental”.

 

note: I think I have “coinci-dental insurance“: when I need something done to my teeth, it’s never covered. What a coincidence!

double note: Append Age, Stone Age, Bronze Age, Iron Age, Cott Age, Coin Age, Foli Age, Old Age, Dot Age, …

 

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Restorationale Project

Barry Un's Table

 

I foolishly left this table outside after a BBQ last summer … and it warped at warp speed.

What do you do with a warped table?

Leave it outside longer!

It’s now a neglected partially hidden table at the back of my house.

It looked so sad that I had to do something for it.

So …

I gave it a new look!

Now  …

a table with a face that is smiling!

 it’s a happy table again!

a table facing a happy direction!

I guess it’s better than having a sad table hanging around.

 

note: I’m not a carpenter.

double note: Pat Coakley : It’s definitely not an emoticon!

triple note: things warp pretty fast around my place.

quadruple note: if you didn’t see the original “Goodbye Smiley Face” post … it’s still around.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Underlying Meanies

 

"What's your dog's name?"  "I call it Art, but I don't really know."

 

When someone says something really crazy, I usually say …

“I totally stand under where you’re coming from.”

Because they probably won’t realize that I’m making fun of them.

and if they do …

I totally stand in front of my statement.

 

note: Over underestimating people can get you in to trouble sometimes.

double note: Does understanding someone mean that they are above you?

triple note: just in case you don’t hover the cursor over the photo:

“What’s your dog’s name?”

“I call it Art, but I don’t really know.”

 

Humor-Blogs is still wonky!

Wishy Washyitis

I knew I'd find a use for this!

I’ve been diagnosed with a  “non-judgemental” illness.

I don’t know how I feel about it.

 

note:Non-Judge Dread” wasn’t a good movie.

double note: everything is okay really.

triple note: I’d tell you the questions they asked me; but if you are well, you might have an opinion about them. It’s like that scene in “Bladerunner ” .

 

Humor-Blogs.com  is still not appearing where I’d like it. (sadder face)

Bolivia

Bolivian Surf Club

It’s really difficult to travel coast to coast in Bolivia.

 

note: lots of blankets; maybe bingo; no beach.

double note: Surfing in Bolivia? I’ll Paz on that one.

triple note: maybe Paraguay will be better.

quadruple note: La Paz means “peace“: Peru, Brazil, Paraguay, Chile, and Argentina all have a little “piece” of Bolivia.

 

Humor-Blogs link is down at the moment (sad face)

Be Prepared!

Pod People!

 

Chinese Cabbage … my ass!

Pod people!!! Pod people!!! Pod people!!!

 

note: There is no grater good … vegetable than Chinese cabbage.

double note: Grab a bat! It’s an invasion!!!

Hurry! They are multiplying!!

 

triple note: “Will the defendant please rise.”

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Unsure

Recoleta Cemetary

 

As I lay on the sofa with my eyes closed, I heard an ambulance siren in the distance;

and …

for one brief second I thought … maybe I’m dead and they are coming for me.

Maybe I died and didn’t know it.

Maybe that’s what happens.

I don’t know; I’ve never died before.

 

note: you’ll be glad to know I didn’t hopefully.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/