When I was born, the doctor stole my mother’s belly button.
The doctor offered to remove the excess skin my mother had accumulated in the stomach area from pumping out so many kids.
In the bargain he removed her belly button as well.
To be fair, this was in pre-cosmetic surgery days; and my mother wasn’t big on bikinis anyway.
I remember being called a liar in 1st grade by my doubting friends.
I dragged some of them back to my place after school and begged my mother to show her buttonless midriff to my friends.
She didn’t.
But she did confirm my story as true.
It would have been better if she had shown it though.
1 response so far ↓
Jeff Burke // March 31, 2008 at 10:28 am |
I hate to break this to you, but your mother is an alien and the two of you are clones. You were planted here as an experiment with pre-programmed time released directives implanted in the cortex of your brain to be released upon the arrival of the mother ship to planet earth for our colonization by a species that thrives on greenhouse gasses and fast food. This secret has been hidden in Area 51 by powerful government agents who are heavily invested in McDonalds and Taco Bell.